MINE

Chapter 25-HALF A HEART

(AUDREY POV)

4 weeks

It has already been 4 weeks since I left him and yet it still feels like it is just last night. The pain of not having him by my side just rips me from the inside out. I miss him like crazy and it is taking all of me to control myself from talking to him on facetime whenever he calls Loe. Good thing Loe is having a vacation with my mum right now so at least I've got a week break from this urges to talk to him whenever he and Loe chats.

But I have to be stronger than this; I need to be away from him because what we have is toxic. He has mangled my heart into a thousand pieces a lot of times and I just can't go on like that. Both of us need to learn control. I have to be away from him and Harry because I am messing their friendship; their group. I don't want to jeopardize the lads' dream by causing a rift between Harry and Lou.

So your friend's been telling me

You've been sleeping with my sweater

And that you can't stop missing me

Bet my friend's been telling you

I'm not doing much better

'Cause I'm missing half of me

I try to convince myself that I am better off without him because I can save myself from the pain he has caused me, but who am I kidding? Everyday is difficult without him; everyday is more painful especially when this flat reminds me so much of him. I try to bury myself with tons of work and school stuffs. I am doing my thesis now so it's quite alright to be away from school because my thesis subject location is here in Hongkong.

"Good day Auds. Thanks for letting me stay for a couple of days." Perrie greeted me as I enter the kitchen.

She asked me if she can stay and meet Zayn here in my flat. I agreed as long as it is just Zayn. She and Zayn had done a lot for Lou and me before that is why I readily said ok. Hotels can be a pain in the arse because of the papz. Perrie is currently on a break from her Asian tour while Zayn will fly from Australia. The boys have a couple of days off from their On the ROad Again tour.

I smiled at the gorgeous bubbly girl in front of me. "Anything for you Barbie."

She chuckled at the nickname I made for her because I said she looks like a doll.

"Isn't that Lou's sweater?" She eyed the gray Vans sweater that I am wearing. My cheek reddened because she caught me offguard with her remark. I have been sleeping with Lou's sweater since I left UK. It helps me sleep especially at night when missing him gets so bad. I know it's pathetic.

"Uhm...yeah." I admitted shyly.

"It is ok love. It's just me. I understand." Perrie said softly. "how are you really? You left so suddenly and I wasn't able to talk to you after that incident."

That certain "incident" is when Lou cheated on me. I willed my tears to roll back as I sit on the other side of the table with my bowl of noodles.

"I'm adjusting, Perrie. I've been used to having him around and it's just so difficult to be away from him." I said truthfully to her. "I am really trying hard to stop myself from going back to him because what he did to me is just really painful."

Perrie took a sip from her orange juice, "I know what he did is wrong but if you are miserable without him, can't you find it in your heart to forgive him and give him another chance?"

"My heArt is telling me to just give him another chance but my brain Is giving me all these red signals. I can't trust him right now." I wiped a tear that has somehow managed to escape.