Chapter XXXIII

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Jennie's POV


When Jennie opened her eyes the next morning, she immediately began to panic when she realized where she was.

Shit, Jennie thought to herself, wincing as her face rested on Lisa's chest.

It wasn't that she didn't remember what happened last night, she did, and that's what hurt. It hurt knowing that no matter how right it felt in the moment, last night had probably been a mistake. It hurt knowing that she'd just end up hurting Lisa; again.

Jennie slowly untangled her limb from Lisa's, who was still asleep, careful not to wake the girl who was still fast asleep beneath her. She let out a frustrated sigh when she picked up her clothes from the ground, remembering that Lisa had ripped her dress. She bit her lip to suppress a small smile as she ran her fingers over the tattered fabric but that smile quickly disappeared. She tucked the dress under her arms as she slipped on her bra and underwear before making her way over to Lisa's dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

Once she was dressed, she made her way back over to Lisa's bed. She felt tears begin to well in her eyes, knowing Lisa would be upset when she woke up and realized Jennie was gone. But she also knew things would just be even more complicated if she stayed. Their relationship, or whatever it was, was still a mess. Jennie was still a mess.

She took a deep breath as she ran her hand over Lisa's hair, smoothing it out before leaning down to bring her lips to the girl's forehead. Her heart  nearly fell right out of her chest when she stood back up and saw Lisa's bright eyes staring back at her. 

Lisa smiled up at her for a moment, but her face fell when she saw that Jennie was dressed, seemingly  catching onto what was happening.

"Lisa," Jennie breathed, panicking yet again as she wasn't sure exactly what to say or do next.

"Just go," Lisa whispered as she tore her eyes from Jennie's and turned over onto her side, now facing the wall.

Jennie just stood there for a moment, still frozen.

"I'm sorry," Jennie tried, completely at a loss for words. 

Lisa didn't respond, she just closed her eyes and pulled the sheet further over her body, still facing away from Jennie.

The hurt in Lisa's face was evident, and Jennie could feel her heart breaking.

Everything in Jennie was telling her to run away, but she still couldn't move. She looked over her shoulder briefly, eyeing the door, but instead of running out of it, she stayed.

"What are we doing, Lili?" Jennie asked suddenly, her voice shaky.

Lisa still wouldn't face her, so Jennie reached out to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Please look at me," Jennie begged.

Lisa's body moved slightly as she let out a small sigh before sitting up, wrapping the sheet around her body as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She flinched when Jennie reached to touch the side of her face, and Jennie quickly dropped her hand.

"You should have just left," Lisa mumbled, her own voice wavering as she stared down at her hands in her lap.

"Is that what you want?" Jennie asked, searching for Lisa's eyes.

"Are you really asking me that?" Lisa almost laughed, finally lifting her eyes, which were now glistening behind a layer of tears. "Like I want any of this?" 

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