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Born as alpha is privilege.

That's what people always say to me.
But my parents never said anything about that.
They teach me and my brothers that gender doesn't matter. What matter the most is our real self. Our personalities, vision, principal, attitude. That what important for our family.
Maybe because our papa is omega that's why they teach us that way.


I'm not the oldest nor the youngest but dad put so much responsibility in my shoulder. All  4 of Dad's son are alpha. When in elementary school sometime I heard that word but it's kind of alien for me because no one in our household speak about it. Our parents never let us out of the house except to school and in school we don't have any friends, the other students keep a distance from us, I don't know why....


Finally I know why when I'm 12. In my birthday dad bring something like needle and ask me to take my blood. And after that he bring me to his home office and tell me everything. But I have to hide it from our youngest brother. Just like me and my other siblings, dad will tell him when time comes.
I feel sad for my little brother. Our age gap is quite far, he is 5 years younger than me. Papa said that he is miracle, the doctor said my papa can't have baby anymore after me. But one day, just a day before my birthday papa collapse and make dad scare to death. Turns out papa was pregnant, but no one know. Not even papa himself. My little brother born at the exact same time as me, I will never forget that day. Dad say I was born at the same time like my brother, at the midnight last day of June, when the day turn to July. The clock hit 12 when papa scream's heard and moment later the doctor tell us it's a baby boy. My older brother said me and my little brother will be twin if only he came 5 years sooner. And somehow it's kind of true. He is so similar to me.




When I was young I always ask my dad why we can't go out together with papa, and we have to call our aunty as mom. Our papa only said that aunty can't have children so she love us as her own children and ask to call as mom. And we believe it for more than 10 years. But when my older brothers got their results of their second gender in their 12th birthday they start to change and never ask anything to papa like when they're younger anymore.
Maybe that test results have some kind of secrets?
I'm the youngest of 4 sons in my family and my brother closest to me is 5 year older than me. So I have to buried my curiosity. Dad never tell me about second gender, when I ask my brothers they said dad will tell me himself when times come.
I go to normal school just like the other children in my neighborhood, and so with my siblings. But when they continue to high school they go to different schools, not the one which is attached to our elementary school. I don't even ask why, because they will never told me the reason. I'm always sad when think about it. If only I born 5 years sooner I won't left alone.
When I'm 12 years old finally I know what is the secrets.
I'm an alpha, just like all my brothers. Dad and papa explain what is second gender in more detail than what we get in school.

I'm not only youngest in family but also in school, that's why I always feel lonely. Everyone have known their gender before the last semester start while me, I know it at semester end. I know some of my classmates are alpha too. But I don't like them. Since knowing they're alpha, their behavior is changing and it's not for the better. They start became a bully and always say they are better than the other because they are alpha. But somehow they never touch me or say anything to me. Maybe because they know I'm a Suthiluck. The school is owned by the Suthiluck family, maybe they think I'm the school owner's son, that's why they don't bother me.

That's another mystery for me. My brothers are using Jaturaphoom as their last name, but only me use Suthiluck.
I know it's my papa and aunty's family name. Well actually it's our middle name. Our real last name is Jamornhum. But dad and papa said we can't use our last name without permission from our great grandparents, and it's kind of impossible because the elders of the family refuse to see our parents. So we have to hide it. We dont have problem about last name tho, but sometimes its bother me, and me only, my sibling said I just have too much spare time so my head make something to make me busy, and once i get to high school i wont have any more time to daydreaming, thinking about unecessary things.

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