Sails and Styles (Completed)

Chapter 10

I'm sitting in the back seat of the car in the middle. I always sat in the middle so I could speak with both my parents at the same time. The accident specialist will tell me later that it's the only thing that saved me. It's dark out and we've just left the venue of my performance. I feel ecstatic, like my joy is bubbling over from within. I can't wipe the smile off my face.

"Maggie, you were incredible," my mom says. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks Mom!"

"There were so many people there to see you! You sounded so amazing!" my Dad joins in.

I blush under their praise.

"Where do you want to go to celebrate?"

The question is still looming in the air. Hanging there. Unanswered. Headlights flash in front of us. They are too close. My dad swerves the car before it hits us head on, narrowly missing us, and we come to a screeching stop. We're all breathing heavily, and my dad looks around to see if my mom and I are alright. Then I hear a crunch as a second car hits us pushing us over the edge of the highway, down the high embankment. We tumble. I don't know how much time has passed before I open my eyes.

"Mom? Dad?"

Nothing. I can feel tears in my eyes but I'm trying not to let them fall. Then I hear a panicked coughing.

"Dad?"

"Maggie Lou? Are you okay?" he barely gets the words out.

"I don't know. I think so."

"Sweetie, I don't want you to stop taking chances."

"What are you talking about Dad?"

"When I'm not there to push you."

"Dad, don't talk like that."

"I know you get scared honey, and being scared is okay, but sometimes you need to take those risks to experience something really great."

He coughs again, struggling to breath. And then it's quiet again.

"Dad? DAD?"

And then the tears I had been holding start to fall.

I wake slowly. My face wet with tears. I wipe them away quickly, trying to get my emotions under control. I forgot that conversation with my dad. I had pushed it away after everything. Too painful to re-live. Why was I remembering it now? I know my dad wasn't talking about Harry when he told me those words, I hadn't even met him yet. I know he was talking about my music but why did the words hold so much relevance to my situation now? Did he know that one day I would meet someone who would push me to feel things I hadn't felt before? Did he know that I would somehow need this pep talk one day but he wouldn't be there to give it? His words have left me so confused. Yesterday I was so sure that I was doing the right thing with Harry. That not letting him in was the right move. But now...now I wasn't as confident.

I got out of bed and got dressed quickly and quietly made my way off the boat and up the dock. The sun was just coming up but it was still mostly dark. The yacht club grounds were fairly large here and I started to walk a familiar path around. I only had today and tomorrow with Harry and then he would be leaving. I didn't know if I would ever see him again. I didn't really know much about his day to day life back home, but I find myself wanting to know more. Wanting to go back to London with him and see what it's like. I keep telling myself that I can't be with him because I have a life here, but the truth is, I'm not going back to my teaching job in September. I haven't told anyone. There hasn't been anyone worth telling. Until I met him. And now I find myself wondering how I can balance my new career and also have Harry in my life. My dad is right, I need him here to push me when I get scared. Because I'm scared right now. I'm scared of taking a chance on Harry and then him dropping me as soon as the next thing comes along. I don't have enough courage to be fearless.

The sun is now up as I walk back down the stairs to the marina. I see a boat docked that I'm very familiar with, a friend of my father's.

"Hi Glen, how are you?" I greet him as I see him sitting outside on his boat.

"Maggie! It's so good to see you!" he climbs off his boat to bring me into a big hug. He pulls away assessing me. "You look well."

"Thanks," I say, not hesitating to smile at him. He has been like family to me for many years. Both my parents were only children and I was an only child as well, so you have to choose your own family along the way.

"Are you out here on your own?"

"I'm with a friend."

"Oh good, good!"

There's an awkward pause and I know he is debating about telling me something. I can see it in his eyes and I'm wondering if I can manage to get out of here before he decides.

"Maggie, I wanted to tell you that last time I saw your dad he wouldn't stop raving about you and your music. He was so proud of you. He kept showing me videos he had taken on his phone."

"Really?" I didn't know my dad did that.

"Oh yeah! He would brag about you to anyone who would listen. He said to me 'Glen, she is so brave! So much braver than I've ever been.' But of course, I already knew that about you."

"What do you mean?"

"You've always been brave. There was that time when you were probably ten years old and that seal had got tangled in some fishing wire. You swam to the shore where it was and took out a little pocketknife and cut away all the wire. That thing was wiggling like crazy and you were so calm. I was in awe of you. So was your dad."

I had completely forgot about that. The story has brought tears to my eyes. I didn't know my dad saw me like that.

"Look kid, you ever need anything, I'm here. Always."

I nod at him and he pulls me in to hug him again. As I pull away, I thank him. That moment has just possibly changed the course of my life. I have to talk to Harry.

I rush back to the boat with a smile on my face, eager to speak with Harry. I feel like my body is vibrating with excitement. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him that I want to take a chance on him. That I like him, and I want to try. I clamber onto the boat and down into the galley. Harry is in his berth with the door open. When he turns to look at me, he has his bag slung over his shoulder. My beaming face immediately falls.

"What are you doing?"

"I, uh, booked a float plane out for this morning. I'm going to head home."

"What? Why?"

"I just think it's time I go," he says not meeting my eyes.

"But you weren't supposed to leave until Thursday?"

"I know. But I think it'll be easier this way. Then you don't have to stay close to this dock. You can go off and be on your own."

I feel like someone has just punched me in the stomach. The wind is completely knocked out of me. I hold onto the table for balance. Feeling myself get dizzy.

"Maggie? Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I struggle to walk to my berth and get inside and shut the door behind me. I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the closed door. He's leaving. He's actually leaving.