FORBIDDEN ATTACHMENTS ─ star wars

IV. Unspoken Fears

Chapter Four
Anakin

"Agree with you, the council does. Investigation is needed," Master Yoda says, resting his head on the top of his cane. "Go to Taris, your padawan will. Along with this rebel girl."

"I don't think this rebel can be trusted," I tell the council, glancing sideways at Obi Wan, seeing the stern look on his face. "I do not require help on this mission, I can handle it myself."

Master Yoda stares at me for a long moment, before tilting his head to the side. "Powerful you are, young Skywalker. Ready for the trials, you believe you are? Learning to accept help, a lesson every jedi has to learn is."

I nod my head to him, staying silent despite my disapproval over this decision. But Master Yoda moves on, listening to Master Obi Wan as he says; "I think I should take the queen to Mandalore. The duchess Satine and I have a long history. I know she can be trusted. Queen Daulton will be safe there."

Master Windu is the one to reply to this suggestion, his hands clasped in his lap and his face as indifferent and poised as it usually is. "The council agrees. Take the queen to Mandalore. But if what this rebel girl says is true, then you must be careful Obi Wan. More people will come for the queen."

Master Obi Wan nods his head firmly. "I will keep her safe."

Master Windu then turns his attention to me. "Anakin, keep the council updated on what you find on Taris. If this really is a separatist plot, then our efforts to stay out of war might be futile."

All the more reason why we shouldn't trust the help of a separatist sympathizer. But I bite my tongue, bending forward and bowing to my masters, with Master Obi Wan bowing a few moments later.

"I will not let the council down." I say, a promise to them, and to myself.

-

"So the council has granted you a mission of your own," The Chancellor says, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, his mouth spreading into a smile. "Your patience has paid off."

I smile at my friend, my voice filled with the gratitude I feel as I say; "Your guidance more than my patience."

He turns his head towards the window next to us, his eyes focused on his reflection in the glass, not on the ships whizzing by the building. "I have always said that you are the most powerful Jedi I know. Now the council is starting to acknowledge that."

Feeling myself blushing, I brush the compliment off, not believing that statement for a moment. "I'm just glad I can finally use my abilities to help others. The rebellion on Taris is getting out of hand. And if the separatists are behind it, this could mean war."

The chancellor's face is rather indifferent, his smile not as large as it was earlier. "Lets hope it doesn't come to war. I'm sure with you at the helm of this investigation, everything will go smoothly."

I look out the window as well, looking at my reflection in the glass. When I look into my eyes all I see is fear, fear I wish for no one to ever see. Fear of failing. So many lives are on the line. An entire planet's freedom is on the line. I need to be able to help them. I have to be powerful enough to stop their pain. Despite what the chancellor says, part of me isn't so sure I am.

-

Genevieve

"Have you ever been to Mandalore, your majesty?" Master Obi Wan asks, leaning against the wall of the guest bedroom I am staying in, his brown robe wrapped tightly around his figure, his arms crossed.

I begin folding another one of my dresses, packing it in tightly to my suitcase, glancing over my shoulder at him. "No, no I haven't. My father made many visits there though. Mandalore is a very influential planet in the outer rim system. Second to Taris, so we have been allies for a very long time."

"I know the duchess very well. I assure you that no harm will come to you there."

I nod to him, not turning my attention away from packing another dress as I reply; "If you say she's trustworthy, then I trust her."

"Under the circumstances, your majesty, I am surprised you have come to trust me and my judgement so quickly." Obi Wan says. I look over to find him looking at me in a very analytical way, like he's studying me. It makes me blush.

"Well, we are going to be hiding out alone, Master Kenobi. It will be just you and I for who knows how long, with my life in your hands. I feel like I have no choice but to trust you."

I walk over towards the nightstand next to my bed, grabbing my mother's necklace and securing it tightly around my neck, touching the stone gently before I grab onto another dress to fold and pack up. As I walk across the room to my closet, I find Obi Wan's inquisitive stares growing more intense, gesturing to my neck. "That is a beautiful necklace."

I find myself smiling, almost forgetting where I am for a second as I explain; "It was my mother's. She gave it to me right before she died. It's made of a Andurite Stone from Ithor; my mother's home planet. I've never actually been there before. I've heard the surface is so beautiful that citizens live in houses in the clouds, and they are only allowed to visit the surface every three years for a single day." I begin folding up the next dress, my mind flooding with images of my mother; her face, her smile, her kind heart. I remember when she would tell me about Ithor, about her life there. She is but a memory now, as is my father.

"When did your mother die?"

"I was ten. She went to a meeting with a few senators on Florrum. They were attacked and killed by a band of pirates...I still remember walking into the throne room of my castle and being told the news. My father's entire council and advisors were there, and even after hearing my mother had died I had to hold my head up high and show strength for my people. It's what they always taught me; everything I do needs to be in the best interest of the people of Taris."

I drop the dress on the bed, trying to take deep breaths. I couldn't show emotion like this in front of a Jedi, especially one as revered and wise as him. Here I am feeling my hands begin to shake and my breaths grow shallow, what must he think of me? No queen should act this way.

I hear footsteps across the dark blue carpet, closing the distance between Obi Wan and me. Out of the corner of my eye I see him starring at me. I lift my gaze up to his, expecting to find judgement and disapproval, but find sympathy and respect in his eyes and features.

"Your parents would be very proud of how devoted you are to your people. I have never met a leader more dedicated to their planet, and I have met many kings and queens throughout my life."

I find myself smiling, fighting off another blush. "That's the highest compliment I could receive, Master Kenobi."

He smiles at me, a wide and genuine smile. "I have faith in my padawan, your majesty. He will find out what's going on with your people and with Taris. Once he does you can return and do what you were born to do; rule."

Yes, rule. Rule my planet and rule my people. Devotion and care to my people is one thing, but being a leader; knowing how to make decisions on behalf of my planet, holding the lives of millions of people in my hands, protecting those people. It's entirely different. I'm not sure his faith or Padmé's is warranted.

I can't afford to show that doubt or fear. I can't. What planet would trust a queen who is unsure of herself? Who doubts every decision she makes and how it will impact everyone. Queens should be level headed and confident, they should know what to do and how to do it. I feel like a girl running around in a crown, simply pretending to be a leader. I don't feel like a queen.