Dark Matter [Completed]

Seventeen

The celebration goes on into the early hours of the morning, but finally the last guest clears out, and I collapse gratefully into my bed. I can't remember a more exhausting day. Not physically, but mentally. My thoughts have been whirling round and round until I want to scream. I don't mean I didn't enjoy myself because I really did... somehow. I just don't feel like talking to anyone, but Alex was giving me weird looks all night. If I don't go to him, he'll come to me.

It is with great reluctance that I drag myself out of bed and slip through the door. Even though I'm completely invisible, I move cautiously; someone could still be awake even at this hour. Once I'm out of the house, and out of range of the security cameras, I let myself relax. With a heavy sigh, I run my hand though my hair... my own hair. In all it's straight, thick, black, boring glory. The moonlight makes my pale skin look even whiter. It's been weeks since I've seen myself, and it's nice to not pretend. Even for a little bit.

Alex is waiting for me in the small close of trees we usually meet at. Trying to put as much nonchalance into my voice as possible, I say, "Hey, Alex."

Alex continues to stare into the distance before turning to face me. "Natalia."

His face, his voice, everything says something is bothering him. And that thing is me. Nonchalant approach isn't going to work. Let's just get this over with. "What's bothering you, Alex? You've been giving me weird looks all day. Just spit it out."

He looks at me, his dark eyes searching mine. Finally he crosses his arms across his chest and says, "What is going with the Orion kid? And don't start playing dumb, Nat. When you first came here, you couldn't stand him. All you talked about was how annoying he was. Now... it's almost like you enjoy his company. Part of it was just acting, I know, but there was something else... I know you better than anyone, sister. Something has changed between you two, but I don't know what it is."

какаться. "There's nothing between us," I say, a touch too quickly. "Maybe I misjudged him in the beginning. Just because I realized I was too hard on doesn't mean I'm in love with him or anything."

"I didn't say you were love with him."

I narrow my eyes at my brother. "What were you saying, then? Because that's what it sounded like you were implying."

When he doesn't respond I cross my arms and snap, "You say you know me better than anyone. Then you know that I wouldn't do anything to compromise the mission. After all these you should trust me, Alex. Tell me one time I've let my personal feelings get in the way of the mission. Just tell me one!"

"You haven't."

"Exactly!" I restrain myself from shouting. "And this time isn't going to be any different! Lucius Orion means nothing to me; he just a variable, like all the other people in that house. I don't hate them, but that doesn't mean I love them. Alright?"

Alex's expression says he isn't quite convinced yet, but he knows I'm telling the truth. He knows that I know the rules... and the consequences if we break them. He knows I will do whatever needs to be done, regardless of how I feel. He knows he can trust me. "Alright, Nat," he finally says, a sad smile crossing his face. "Alright. Let's not fight about it. We're all we have left, after all."

He holds out his hand and, for a moment, I hesitate. Then I take it and he pulls me into a hug. I know my brother is telling the truth, too. We are all we left, and I don't want to lose that over a petty argument. Maybe not so petty, but that's beside the point. I love my brother, and I hate fighting with him. I always have. Those few times we grew really angry at each were miserable.

When we finally separate, Alex puts both hands on my shoulders. "I trust you, sister, you know that. Just... Just be careful; I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Aren't I always?" I say, letting a teasing smile creep onto my face.

Alex chuckles. "That's true enough. I'll see you around, Nat."

"See you around, brother."

I wait until the last sign of him fades into the night then I return to my room. I'm not feeling any less confused, but at least I'm feeling a little better. For how long I don't know, but I'll take what I can get.