Dark Matter [Completed]

Thirty-One

"I want to save your life."

"Really?" Luke asks after a brief silence. "I assumed you were here to finish the job."

I can't pretend the anger in his eyes doesn't hurt, but I expected no less. "A fair assumption," I finally answer. "But if I wanted you dead, you would already be."

Several emotions pass over Luke's face, but in the end he only says, "Well, if you're not here to kill me, can I have five minutes to put some clothes?"

I nod and step silently out of the way. Still watching me closely, Luke edges past and disappears into the rest of the suite. I half expect to hear security knocking on the door, but Luke returns a few minutes later, dressed in jeans and a black tank top.

For several minutes we stare at each other. Finally, Luke crosses his arms across his chest and asks, "Who are you, really? No more games. If you're going to come barging in here, you at least owe me that."

"I told you...," I say quietly. "I have had many names, but Boris always called me Natalia."

"Natalia..." Luke says my name slowly, as if it something strange... something foreign. "I'm assuming Boris is your boss? What is he? Some kind of mafia boss? Terrorist?"

"Boris would call himself a businessman, but he has been all those things and more," I answer. "I assume you've heard of Oblivion?"

Luke's brow wrinkles. "The crime syndicate?" His eyes suddenly widen with realization. "Are you say this... Boris... is Illych Gregorin?"

"One of his many names. Although he hasn't gone by Gregorin in years. Too much notoriety is never good."

Luke is silent for a long time. Finally, he gives a humorless laugh. "If my father had a nemesis, it would be Gregorin, or Boris, or whatever his name is. He dedicated his life to taking down Oblivion."

"And Boris dedicated his to destroying Orion International," I say.

"I guess we know who finally got the upper hand." Another humorless laugh. "Good game."

The bitterness in Luke's voice cuts deep. Maybe, without Alex and I, Boris and Orion would have been on an even playing field, but we were the trump card. And it's not just Orion. How many others would have stood a chance if it weren't for us? I'm not so deluded as to think Boris would have been helpless without us; he is more than resourceful enough on his own. But would he be the threat he is today if we hadn't been there?

I push the thoughts away. The past cannot be undone; I can't go back. I can only go forward. I can't bring back the lives I took, but I can stop any more from being taken. Starting with Luke. I square my shoulders and look him directly in the eye. "The game isn't over yet."

Luke gives me a suspicious look. "What are you talking about?"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. For so long I've kept my heart hidden behind a wall of lies; always playing a role, never letting anyone see the real me. I have nothing left to lose now, though, and everything to gain. Opening my eyes again, I let Stephanie's face disappear, leaving only my own. My real face. Pale skin, dark eyes, straight black hair. Lifeless, unremarkable...

"I have been killing for Boris since I was sixteen. I know no other home than the catacombs beneath his mansion. Instead of parents I had an army of doctors and scientists. Instead of bedtime stories I had needles injecting God knows what into my body. Instead of school I learned the fastest way to disable my victim." I feel my hands clench into fists. "Boris stole everything from me. My parents, my childhood, my innocence, my humanity, my..." My voice catches. "My brother."

"Brother?" Luke echoes in confusion.

"Through everything Alex was by my side. In a world of lies, he was my truth. My constant. The one person I could trust. And Boris killed him. Shot him right in front of me. Watched impassively as the person who meant everything to me died in my arms." The tears threaten to choke me again and I have to stop.

For a long time there is no sound but the muffled roar of traffic in the street below us. It is Luke who finally breaks the silence. "Why?"

I look up at him and he asks again, "Why would he kill your brother?"

"Because we wouldn't kill you."

Luke seems momentarily taken aback by my answer. When he speaks again his voice is gentler than it has been since he walked out to find me sitting in his room. "Why not? You didn't owe me anything. Killing my father was just a job; I was just a variable."

"No..." My voice is hardly a whisper. "You were more than that." I swallow and go on in a firmer voice. "I won't try to make excuses for what I did because I don't have any. Boris may have kidnapped my brother and I and stolen our memories, but we chose to serve him. We chose to kill for him to save our own lives, worthless though they were."

Luke opens his mouth the speak, but I hold up a hand. "When I first arrived at your estate, it was just a job, and you were just one more variable. I thought you were vain and arrogant and obnoxious. I was determined to tolerate you for the sake of the mission, but that was it."

I risk a glance at Luke, but he's just watching me, a strange look on his face. I force myself to go on before I can lose my nerve. "But then I began to get to know you. I began to realize all that was a shield to hide the real you. To hide the man who was gentle, caring, kind... the man who was haunted by his past. I suppose I saw a little bit of myself in you, and... and, against my better judgement, I started to care."

I look away, unable to hold his gaze anymore. "I only have one rule: don't care. The only way you can survive this life is to lock your heart so far away that you forget you're human. And that's exactly what I've done for the past ten years. Each day feeling a little more of my humanity slip away. But you changed that. You found the crack in my armor, and I paid the price. But I can't say I regret it. You reminded of what it is to be human, Luke, and for that I am grateful."

I finally fall silent. My soul is laid bare, I have nothing left to say. It is up to Luke whether to believe me or not; the ball is in his court now. But, as the silence stretches on and on, my hopes begin to fade away. I should have known I was asking for too much.

"Natalia..."

I raise my head, startled by Luke's voice. He is looking straight at me, a look I can't decipher on his face. I hardly dare to hope as he opens his mouth, but, before he can say a single word, the wall next to him explodes in a cloud of dust and plaster.