My fake fiancee. (BWWM)

||Forty seven||

Hey besties....
I know y'all didn't expect that last chapter to end how it did, honestly, neither did I.
I hope you will love this chapter.
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Shoutout to  @ebbystamp00911, @anitajackson9  thank you for voting for every single chapter and the rest who I've forgotten to mention.
Mad love💖💖💖💖💖
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❌❌THIS CHAPTER MIGHT BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME OF Y'ALL❌❌

I just lay there on my side, numb, staring at the dark wall, hoping that one day everything will be okay. Just one day everything will be okay. But this specific day never comes and im tired of waiting. Because all my hope is shattered. If i could only disap...

But you know what, i think I'm finally going to do this
I'm tired.
Tired of being lonely in a crowd of friends.
Tired of not feeling good enough.
Tired of the emptiness i feel inside.
Tired of being the one everyone replaces eventually.
I'm tired.

I wiped my tears and look at the door.

I know the perfect escape.

I get out of bed to the cabinet next to the door. I saw the nurse take the medicine there that she gave me. I go through the medicine cabinet and i get out the first bottle of pills i could find.
If i am going to do this, better do this right.

I didn'have time to change my mind.
I hear foot steps and rush back to my bed as fast as possible, shoving the pills under my pillow. The night nurse opens my door, "you good there?"
I put a plastic smile on my face, "I'm good. Im sure you have patients who actually need your help, I'm just here till i get cleared."
She nods and closes the door.

I waited for a few minutes till i know she's done with the rounds in this floor. I fill the glass with water and pour a couple pills on my hands. My hands are shaking. I shouldn't do this.
Fuck it.

I shove them in my mouth and wash them down with water. A second time. A third time.
I see my phone there. I take it and next thing i know Raffaels picture is smiling at me.
I dial his number.
Voice mail.

I clear my throat, "Hey Raffy. Ummh i just wanted to say that I'm sorry. Up until now i didn't realise how much i love you. And ive been an ass, pushing you away. I guess the universe had to punish me for that, huh." I chuckled, wiping away a stray tear, "i saw your game today. You were amazing out there. I'll always be your biggest fan, apart from aunt Gia."
The voice mail got cut short. I called again and continued talking, "i remember when we first kissed. It was after your first game in high school. I'll always treasure that day. I love you. And i want you to forgive me. You always tell me to fight. But i choose not to this time. I love you with every broken piece of me, Raffy. Im sorry."

I put the rest of the pills away and close my eyes to wait for the pills to kick in.

"Mommy! Mommy! Let's go!" I open my eyes and standing at the foot of the bed is a bronze skin little girl with curly black hair and her eyes were the rarerest ive ever seen.
"Are you lost sweety?" I move towards her, there's something familiar about her.
"Its me silly, Luc. Mommy, let's go, i show you something!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the corridor, her small legs running towards the EXIT door.
We climb the stairs and reach the rooftop, the wind blowing through my hospital gown.
"Mommy, come on! I show you" she is walking to the edge and I'm following her.
"Let's play jump, mommy!"
"Okay baby, we play jump!" Im at the edge of the building, i see the cars passing through.

"Emiliana! Look at me baby, slowly step away from the edge, please," i hear Raffael shout from behind me. I shake my head no, still not looking at him.
"Bunny, please baby! Please, just one step, " he begs.
"Luc wants to play Raffy! We are playing jump!" I shout over my shoulder.
"Who is Luc, bunny? Why don't you come here and tell me all about her?" I hear his voice getting closer, I shake my head, I turn and face him.
I see the fear in his eyes, I smiled  "Raffy, we missed you." His eyes looked down at my feet then up, smiling, "I missed you too bunny. Come give me a hug?"
"Let me just get Luc, " I start to turn and he calls after me.
"Luc will be fine, now come here, " he says softly.
"She's small silly, she'll hurt herself, " I turn and look around. I see the little girl falling, "Luc!" I take one step to the edge and Raffael is calling my name.
The moment I turn in a haste, I lost my footing and a scream sounds in the silent night.
"Bunny.. Nooo!"

Darkness engulfs me.