The Love I Lost

Chapter 19: Diary of Liz

I woke up late. I had time to brush my teeth, throw on jeans and a T-shirt, and tie my hair in a ponytail. That's it; I was getting it cut this afternoon. I'd go with Lily, but it was getting cut. My dad was sorely disappointed when I arrived---he'd gotten there way earlier than me---but he didn't say anything, I could only see it in his face. His eyes were clouded with worry, though. Damon must have told him something to make him worried; that still wouldn't make me tell him what had almost happened, though.

Damon....

Every time I thought about him, there was a tickling pain like a thorn in the palm of my hand. After last night, I really had no right to still hate him. He was there for me, he didn't ask questions, he didn't mock me for crying like a girl. He just held me until I fell asleep. I trusted him enough to fall asleep while he was holding me. Maybe he didn't just want sex from me....

But that was ridiculous. A stupid girly thought that had gotten me into this Andrew mess in the first place. I mean, I had confronted Damon, told him all he wanted was sex and what did he say? Nothing, He didn't deny it.

He didn't agree, either.

No! It's that kind of thinking that got you a crazy ex-boyfriend!

I was quiet from the moment I stepped into the school building. I was quiet through all my classes. When lunch time came, I was picking at my salad, swirling the Italian dressing everywhere.

That's when Lily had enough. She stole my tray to get my attention. "Hey, what is up with you today? You're severely emo right now."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not emo, Lily, shut up."

Greta raised a brow. "Aren't we chippy today?"

Normally the 'chippy' jab made me laugh. When we were grocery shopping with my dad a long time ago---back when mom still loved us---and we bought this off-brand of cereal that looked like Cookie Crisp---but tasted stale---only it was called Chip Mates. Greta whispered to me that it looked more like Shit Mates, so every time were going to say 'shit' we said 'chip.' Very stupid and immature, but that pretty much explains our friendship anyway.

I glared at her. "I had a rough night."

"Do tell."
I shook my head. "I'd rather not."

"It's the Edgar Allen Poe assignment, isn't it?"

"What?"

"We're s'posed to compare old authors or poets' writing to their real lives. You were assigned Edgar Allen Poe---"

"I know, it's due Wednesday. Yes, he's insane, and yes he's morbid, and yes his poems are depressing. But...." Should I really go into it? She gave me a way out. "And he's making me down lately."

Lily giggled. "I totally feel ya! Emily Dickenson is pretty depressing, too. Did you know that, like, half the people in her family...."

She continued to talk, giving me time to drift off again. I glanced at Greta once and saw her giving me a doubtful stare. She could always see right through me. But it didn't even matter. I wasn't going to talk about it. Not to my dad, not to Lily, not to Greta....not to Damon.

Speaking of which, I didn't think I'd seen him all day. Which was good, but weird. It wasn't like him to actually leave me alone.

"Any news of where the heck the Salvatore's are?" Lily said, breaking me out of my daze.

She and Greta were looking at me expectantly. I shrugged.

"When did you last see Damon?"

The memory flashed in my mind, my incoherent words, Andrew's voice on the phone, his face in the window, Damon's arms around me.....protecting me.