The Love I Lost

Chapter 32: Forgiveness is More Than Saying Sorry

You are not in love him, you are not in love with him, you are not in love him...

I kept saying this, all before I was about to sing 'Back in the Day' with Ashley. My heart was racing wildly, as though it was my first time on stage. It was my first time singing a duet written by my band mate.

Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth...

But I tried not to breathe too hard, afraid it would catch in the mic. Ashley gave me a reassuring smile and nodded. With one strum of the guitar, the lights went on; blue lights that focused on me at first.

"When we were kids, we would play...kid games," I sang softly. "And I feel like I've let you down...today..."

Another light focused on Ashley as she began singing. "When we were kids, life was easier. Just easier...to be friends...And I feel like something's missin'...today..."

I took a deep breath and we both started singing, my pitch high and Ashley's lower. "Every day feels so lonely, now that you're gone...And I just can't sleep anymore now that you're gone. And I just can't think without your face in my mind."

We sang another verse, the chorus twice, a bridge, and the chorus again. There was silence when Benjamin was tapping softly on the snare at the ending.

And the crowd! I faced Ashley, a question in my eyes. She nodded toward my mic, indicating that I was supposed to speak now.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" I got a deafening screaming by the crowd in response. "Okay, I officially can't hear anymore. This song is called 'Back in the Day' which was written by our very own Abby and Ashley---" I had to pause for the applause. "You like that? Well, it's our first song so far, I should hope you like it. Well, now we're going to perform a different song. It's and old song, and if you listen to any of your mother's music, you should know it." I nodded at Ashley and the musicians started the music.

"Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell
Jimmy Rogers on the Victrola up high
Mama's dancin' with baby on her shoulder
The sun is settin' like molasses in the sky
The boy could sing, knew how to move, everything
Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for

Black velvet and that little boy's smile
Black velvet with that slow southern style
A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees
Black velvet if you please

Up in Memphis the music's like a heatwave
White lightening, bound to drive you wild
Mama's baby's in the heart of every school girl
"Love me tender" leaves 'em cryin' in the aisle
The way he moved, it was a sin, so sweet and true
Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for

Black velvet and that little boy's smile
Black velvet with that slow southern style
A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees
Black velvet if you please

Every word of every song that he sang was for you
In a flash he was gone, it happened so soon, what could you do?

(Guitar Solo)

Black velvet and that little boy's smile
Black velvet with that slow southern style
A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees
Black velvet if you please

Black velvet and that little boy's smile
Black velvet with that slow southern style
A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees
Black velvet if you please

If you please, if you please, if you please."

I was actually surprised at the amount of cheering. I mean, I liked the song, but I hardly expected the audience to love it.

"Alright this next one you guys should know."

"Your in the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
And you don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'cause you have the effect on me, you do