Regrets

Chapter 1

"Jagiya, mianhae. I can't meet you for a couple of weeks." Jiyeon heard her boyfriend say over the phone. He said they will be going to Japan early in the morning. She hated it. She hates the fact that she couldn't complain. She hates the fact that she couldn't spend a special day with him. She hates it when he always doesn't have the time.

Why are you telling me this just now? she wanted to ask but she didn't. Although their relationship is nothing but disappointments, she didn't want to complain. If there was one thing she learned from dating a celebrity it's to be patient. Taemin is living his dream and she couldn't ruin it just because she's unhappy.

"I understand," she said although deep inside she wanted more than just the rushed conversations on the phone, more than the few hours spent in a café on the rare days when he had a few hours to spare, and more than the 'good night's they exchange every night.

"Taemin..."

"Hmmm?"

When can I spend a whole day with you? When will I be able to have you for myself? Selfish thoughts which she could never say out loud. "Don't forget to eat your meals."

"I won't. Thanks, Jagiya. I'll call you when I can," he promised but she wouldn't bet on it. She knew her boyfriend has the tendency to skip meals when he's too busy.

"Ok," she said and he hung up before she could even say 'I love you'.

Disappointed and frustrated she threw her phone away then plopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She could feel hot tears well up from her eyes. Despite everything she still couldn't be mad at him. She understands his passion for his work and she loves him too much for her to be mad at him. But although she understands, it doesn't mean she could no longer feel pain.

She knew Taemin loves her too. On the rare days when they could spend a few hours together, Taemin never fails to show her just how much she means to him. Oh yes, he was trying. Though maybe not hard enough but he does. And those simple efforts make her love him even more.

It was 3 years ago when Taemin confessed to her. She could still remember how nervous he was that day. She smiled at the memory. She couldn't believe how dense she was back then.

"Please don't make me say it," he said.

"Say what?" she asked. She just continued to stare at him with those curious eyes.

"Those cheesy lines guys usually say when they confess." Maybe the 'confess' part was already a clue but if you hear it from someone like Taemin it wouldn't make any sense. Because it's totally impossible for him to like her. At least that was what she used to think.

"Can't you at least help me out here? I don't know where to start." It was the first time she saw him feeling unsure of himself. It was as if what he was about to do means so much for him.

He then took a deep breath before giving her a heart-stopping smile. "I love you. Please be my girl."

She didn't know how she managed to say 'yes' and 'I love you too' but somehow she did. Taemin took her hand in his then slipped the ring through her fingers. It was the prettiest thing she had ever seen. She thought she couldn't be any happier until Taemin covered her mouth with his for a kiss which seemed so magical to be real.

And now as she thinks about the past and what-used-to-bes, she could feel her heart clenching painfully. Those happy moments doesn't happen very often anymore. She's tired and she wanted to do something about it.