❧R E M O R S E ❧ [the sequel]

❧two❧

D A W N
❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧

I enter Michelle's apartment using the spare key she had given me. I slam the door shut; loud enough to shake the picture hanging on the wall; and walk past the very small mirror she had placed by the staircase in the entranceway.

Taking a step back; I observe my face in it. Using my hands to feel my numb cheekbones. I haven't seen the skin under my eyes so red in years. Since I had to say goodbye to him.

How ironic it is that I'm crying over him again.. years after I thought I promised to forget about his existence. It was brutal of me.

We could've had a life together. Our own children. We could've moved out of his parent's house and found a place to stay somewhere else. But I was selfish and young and made the biggest mistake of my life.

I could've told the truth instead of running away; with a newborn. And I hate myself every day for making life hard on Adalyn during her first few weeks.

"Dawn!" Michelle yells from the kitchen. I sigh to myself and use my hands to fan my face; hoping it'll fainten the red tinges under my eyes. I enter the kitchen; hearing the sound of an ABC song playing loud on the tablet I had bought Adalyn.

Walking over to her; I feel the wrath of Michelle's eyes set heavily on me as if shes waiting to hear me ramble on about how awful my day went. Although I hadn't told her anything about it on the way back.

I kiss Adalyn's forehead and she smiles widely as she looks up at me. Her curly light brown hair brushes the skin of my hand as I plant my palm on her shoulder. "Mommy I love this song" she says to me as she points to the lit up screen. I break a fake smile back at her.

"That's great baby"

"What's wrong" Michelle's voice startles me. I look up at her and see she's furrowed her brows; in the position she has them in when she's questioning something .

I shake my head and she shakes hers back.

"Stop" she says sternly. "You always have a smile on your face when you come home. So what happened"

"Nothing" I say as I push my baby hairs away from my face. She raises an eyebrow and eyes me.

"Nothing? Clearly something's off"

I shrug my shoulders as I release my hand off Adalyn's shoulder and steady it on the marbled countertop I'm leaning on.

"Ada can you go sit on the stairs for a minute?" Michelle asks the girl who's eyes are set on the screen of the device. But even then; she nods and stands as i watch her small body trot out the room. I take a seat where she was and stare at Michelle who folds her arms together .

"So what happened?"

I sigh as I find the way to get the words out my mouth; still in awe at what I had just went through. " I saw Mattia"

And that's when her mouth widens...as if shocked. Michelle has known about Mattia. She had known about my situation. Because I had found Michelle in the same position I was in years ago. We were runaways. And she and I had met at a shelter.

We were the same age and became...inseparable. The only thing that really differed between us was the fact that I had a child and she had escaped a toxic relationship.

We found jobs at multiple areas and saved our cash and here were are now, in the kitchen of her new apartment. Well.. sort of new. She had rented it a year and a half after we met

But she loved the personality of Mattia by the way I had described him. However, she and I both wished I wouldn't see him again... to save myself the memory of the heartbreak

"H-how is that possible" she asks as she places her hand lightly over her Cupid's bow above her lips

"I-I didn't expect it. I should've stayed here" I say shaking my head and wishing this had been nothing more than a dream. Or maybe even a nightmare. I just wanna wake up from it. I just wish I hadn't seen him again.

Because I don't want to fall in love with him once more

"W-well what happened?"

"I heard the barista call out his name for him to pick up his order. I turned my head. I-I swear I only turned it a little and I- I saw him and recognized him immediately. I grabbed my drink and went to leave as fast as I could when he bumped into me. We were both heading for the exit. He saw me and-" my eyes fill with tears and I scoff as I reminisce this morning

"It's okay, take a breath" Michelle says as she sits in front of me; waiting as I catch my breath and my thoughts and collect myself.

"And he froze. And I saw how scared he was to see me. It's like I saw the teenage boy in him again... but then he left the store. And I had to go after him so I screamed that I was sorry to him before he could leave and he turned... a-and at first he seemed sad. But then his voice got louder and he started yelling"

"Oh no" Michelle sighs as she shakes her head. "I'm sorry"

Ignoring her; as if I was in my own world I continue to recall the memory out loud. "A-and he yelled at me and I got scared and almost forgot how to speak and he told me I broke him. I feel like a monster. And he said he wanted to see Adalyn" I hear the subtle sound of the droplets from my eyes fall onto my jeans

Michelle wraps her arms around me. "It's okay you don't have to say anymore I completely understand"

But I keep going. "And then I told him! I told him she wasn't his!" I begin screaming, feeling michelle's arms tighten around me. "And I saw his face and it's like I've killed him or something! The w-way he looked at me.. it's like he hated me"

I shake my heads and bury my face in my arms; tugging on my skin like I'm trying to pull my invisible mask off of this horrible reality I'm facing. I want a clean sheet. A new start. Back to the beginning.

But I can't have anything. I've lost it all. Including the satisfaction of love. The natural rights everyone should be capable of finding

"A-and then I told him I was sorry and he said I'm not the same girl I used to be and he left! He left and I'm never gonna see him again!" I cry loudly. "I could've stayed with him! I could've told the truth!" I go to stand but Michelle pulls me into a hug; letting me sob on her shoulders when someone disrupts the chaotic moment

I jolt my head up, seeing Adalyn shocked as she examines my face. "Mommy" she quietly starts. "Are you okay?"

I wipe my eyes as I quickly walk over to her and direct her out the room but she tugs on my arm causing my body to be leveled with hers. "Don't cry mommy"

She wipes my eyes as I try to smile to assure her that I'm fine. But she's extremely smart. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yes baby" I say as I wrap my arms around her and shut my eyes; allowing the remainder of the tears to fall down my cheek. "I'm gonna be okay"