Holding on to His Promises

Chapter 34: Have Mercy on Me

The next following days was still the same. The pain was still here, and it was more painful than before.

When this pain will end? Will it end?

"The drug no longer works," the doctor said.

"What does it mean?" Mommy asked.

"I'm sorry to say that your daughter might not survive any longer . . ."

Mommy started to cry when she heard what the doctor said. Mom and Dad took me home with sorrow on their faces. Three months. That was the lifespan that the doctor gave me.

It was afternoon when the pain attacked again, and the drug didn't work.

"Shh . . . You'll be okay," Mommy told me, trying to comfort me. I was crying in pain. It was a sharp pain.

It took a few hours before the pain gradually diminished. I wasn't moving because I was afraid that the pain might come back and it would surely come back once I moved. I lost my energy, so I just kept on breathing heavily while staring at the window. The sky was scarlet due to the sunset.

Why am I still like this? I thought. Nothing happened. Nothing has changed. I'm still suffering.

"Believe, and you'll see miracle." That was the pastor told me. But I saw nothing. There was no miracle at all.

"Is God real, Mommy?" I asked Mommy.

"Yes, He is. The pastor explained it to you, right?"

"But why? Why He's not taking this pain away from me? It hurts. It's painful. I hate it so much." I started to sob. "I don't want the pain to come back anymore!" I cried.

Mommy just looked at me with pity in her eyes while controlling her emotions. Her hands reached for my face to wipe my tears away. "Trust Him more," she said.

"I love you, Mommy . . . You and Daddy and Shekinah," I told her.

"W-we love you, too," she said with tears welling on her cheeks.

"Thank you so much for everything. Thank you for giving birth to me. Thank you for letting me see how beautiful this world is."

She started to sob and shook her head in objection. "Please, don't say that. You won't die yet."

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya. "Do you know Storm Dylan Hunt? He's the most handsome and talented guy I've ever met in my life. I also love him. He's kind, sweet and a gentle man. When we were in high school, palagi niya akong nililibre. Sabay din kami palaging manood ng movies. I feel so happy when I'm with him. I miss doing those things with him. And I miss him so much . . ."

She just kept on crying while listening to me, not responding. I was telling some stories about my life to entertain myself and to forget about the pain that I was going through.

She later left the room to take me a glass of water. It took a few minutes before she came back.

"Sweetheart, is this yours?" I heard Mommy say as she entered the room. She was holding something. "It's a pamphlet."

A scene flashback to my mind. It was the time that I was going home from the hospital, and a guy blocked my way and gave me that phamplet.

"Nakita ko ito sa wallet mo. Baka kailangan mo ito." She sat on the chair and showed me the phamplet.