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Taehyung Kim was a fuck up

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Taehyung Kim was a fuck up.

The realization didn't come to him after 20 years of living, one February morning in the middle of his History of Arts lecture. He'd known it for a while. Say, when he was 16? He doesn't remember exactly how it happened but he did remember how he gave a blowjob to a man who was thrice his age.

He remembered the man's rough caroused hands grabbing at his soft brown locks, that weren't dyed blond back then. His glassy eyes brimmed with tears as he stared at the wrinkled face above him, head thrown back in pleasure. He remembered the exact way the man had held his face with his large hands, restricting him any movement as he roughly fucked his mouth. And at last, mercilessly came down his throat.

At least the man was decent enough to not forcefully fuck him when he denied the request. But he remembered how he was on the floor, half naked, tears running down his face when the man stood up from the bed after using Taehyung's mouth for pleasure. Remembered how Taehyung got himself on his feet and dressed himself as the pedophile watched. And after he was done, the way the man threw 200 dollars on the floor for Taehyung to pick up before he walked out of the motel room.

Every weekend he at least blew off 5 men. All of whom were older than himself. It was easier to find older men. Because Taehyung was beautiful, delicate, soft to the touch. And those men who came to nightclubs were old, filthy rich and tired if their wives who failed to provide them enough pleasure in bed.

Most people were angry at Taehyung because he wouldn't sleep with them. It was a principle of his. He'd let the men have their way with him and collect the money at the end of it. Not letting anyone fuck him was what kept himself from calling himself a prostitute.

He used to live alone, in a shabby apartment his mother had rented for him. He hardly ever saw his mother. She lived in another state and sent him money. But the money was only hardly enough for his school and food. And with no one to tell him how wrong it was of him to make money off his body, he got addicted to the big loads of notes being thrown at him. And his father was always out of the equation. He was non-existent in his life. He never sent Taehyung money and he hadn't seen him in years. He called, once in a while. But Taehyung hated him. He had a family of his own. He didn't care for Taehyung.

He had been best friends with Jimin for so long. But he'd never told him about what he does. The only thing Jimin knew was that he had a thing for older men, which was partially true.

He stopped letting men use him when he was 18. Instead he found himself one man, married or not, and stuck to him for a long period of time. It was more like having a sugar daddy. They didn't last long. Not more than two months. It ended either because Taehyung wanted to; if he was growing tired of them. Or most of the time because their wives found out about the affair. Taehyung didn't mind. He'd always find someone new the following week.

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