The Crackheaded Adventures of the Brawltang Boys and 6mix

10- "Spill the tea, sis!"

"PEACH, PALUTENA, THIS BETTER NOT BE A FUCKING APRIL FOOL'S JOKE!" Lucina yelled as she entered 6mix's dorm. 

"...Lucina, this was written on April 12." Zelda said without looking over at the bluenette. 

"And revised on May 16th!" Daisy chirped. 

"DOESN'T MATTER!" Lucina exclaimed. "I'm pretty sure Dimitri was about to flay Link alive when I left, so this had better be worth it." 

"Damn girl, try to be a little excited about this. That means people will probably stop shipping you and Pat." Daisy said. 

Lucina groaned. "Nothing will stop that from happening. You think those shippers are the kind who care about preexisting relationships?" 

"Aw, poor baby." Samus said sarcastically.

"Shut up, Samus. It's not my fault more people ship you with Zelda or Palutena more than they ship you with your own boyfriend!" Lucina pointed at Samus threateningly. Oooh, so scary.

"Listen here you little shit-" Samus exclaimed, starting to get up from the couch. Daisy literally moved over and sat on her to get her to stay put. 

"No killing unless Zelda says so." Daisy said. 

Samus pouted. 

"Can we just get to the actual tea for this chapter?" Zelda said, sighing and shaking her head. 

"No." Samus said, because she's still pouting. 

"YES." Daisy said at the same time that Samus spoke, efficiently overriding her. 

"GOOD." Zelda shouted. 

"So yeah we're dating lol" Peach said, slinging her arm around Palutena's shoulders. 

"God it's a good thing we're not live right now." Lucina leaned back and sighed in exhaustion. 

"Yeah, it's a really good thing we're not live." Samus's face paled at the thought of the reactions of that corner of the internet. 

"Also it's a good thing that most of the internet doesn't know about Edelgard and Link yet." Lucina said. 

"WAIT WHAT THE FU-" Zelda exclaimed, but she was cut off by Daisy slapping a hand over her mouth. 

"Not now, Zellie. You have time to mourn your chances with Link later." Daisy said, using her other hand to pat Zelda on the head like she was a cat. 

Zelda pouted. "But now who am I supposed to have romantic tension with?"

"Idk ask the author lmfao" Peach cackled. 

"Peach be quiet. You have a girlfriend. I don't wanna hear it." Zelda was sulking. She really could sulk just as well as her brother. 

Lucina covered her face with a pillow and groaned. 

"Soooooo now what?" Palutena, who I totally didn't forget about, asked. 

"Well we have to do something else interesting, otherwise the author's gonna feel bad about neglecting this book for a month or two and then updating with a shitty chapter." Samus said reasonably. 

"But this was mostly just to show people that he can write whatever the hell he wants?? So what if it's subpar in quality, we all know this book is garbage anyways." Peach pointed out. She had a fancy accent when she said "garbage" to make it seem legit, because why the fuck not.

"Hey this isn't garbage, we're actually gonna have a plot soon." Zelda exclaimed. 

"Wait, actually?" Palutena asked, looking confused.