The Crackheaded Adventures of the Brawltang Boys and 6mix

14- "The AUDACITY of this man!"

"Robin, I can not fucking believe you! What the hell did he ever do to you, huh? Why are you being such a dick?" Zelda yelled. 

"Honestly, Zelda, don't you think you're overreacting? Sheik kinda deserves this. It's a good lesson that he needed to learn." Robin said. 

Zelda stood there in shock for a good minute or two. 

Link's hands balled into fists, and he very nearly stepped forwards and punched Robin. Roy put a hand on his shoulder and whispered "Don't do it. Let him speak. I'm sorry, Link."

"I'm not going to stand here and let him bash my best friend like this!" Link snarled, but he backed down. For the moment. 

Samus and Ike were making out in the corner, lol

I swear they do other things, but like there's been a lot of not-crack lately soooooo have some actual crack in this random ass fic

"A good lesson? A GOOD LESSON? Is using past trauma your go-to method for teaching people things? Hylia above, Robin! You're even worse than I thought! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Zelda yelled. She would be lucky to have a voice tomorrow at this point. 

"Don't even pull the 'past trauma' excuse on me, Zelda. I don't care. Sheik is a grown ass man, he can take care of himself. This industry isn't kind to people. He needs to learn to watch his actions and how to take the hate that he'll inevitably get from those dumbfucks on the internet." Robin said coldly. 

"Right, so I suppose you're gonna just discount the fact that our father is literally in fucking jail for what he did to both of us? Or the fact that our mother is a manipulative little bitch who's been waiting for the chance to kick Sheik while he's down and push him over the edge. She's literally been waiting for this day because she wants to make him kill himself. But hey, I suppose that DOeSn'T MAtTer because he needs to lEarN A LeSSoN abOUt THiS IndUStry." Zelda was still yelling. She's pissed, lmao

"Yeah. I don't really care about your parents, actually. I don't need to hear the sob story. I'm sick of ALL this bullshit. You're trying to turn me into the villain when I'm just being practical. This was bound to happen to someone at some point, so why the fuck are you coming after me now?" Robin yelled back. Ooooh so scary. 

Palutena was hiding behind Peach because she was lowkey reconsidering her decision to date her. Robin being angy was highkey attractive to her.

"Fuck you, Robin. Just... fuck you." Zelda shouted. 

"I'm being logical, Zelda. Sorry if you can't handle the truth." Robin shouted back. 

Instead of responding, Zelda gave him the finger and walked off to brood.

Awkward silence ch ch chchchchch

"Robin, don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" Roy asked meekly. 

"SHUT UP, ROY. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT." Robin yelled. 

Peach did the thingy that Beyonce does in that one video from the vine where she's like "Bring the beat in!" and then the guy runs into the room with a beet on a platter and says "ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCE" and said "Alright ladies, I think we'd better go." 

"YEAH I AGREE." Daisy said. 

Samus groaned. "But I don't wannaaaaaa."

"Samus stop making out with Ike, leave him to be sexually frustrated. We need to goooo." Palutena said. 

"no"

"Samus stop being a child. We need to go, we don't have time to let you and Ike finish trying to MAKE a child right here." Lucina said.