Kissing Booth [BoyxBoy]

11 | ωнєrє ωє ℓαи∂

Do I love you? Do I hate you?

I can't make up my mind

Chapter 11 ~ Where We Land

      Scar Patterson

It was beyond simple.

Just a simple peck on the lips that lasted all but ten seconds.

So why did it make me feel like it was the end of the world? Like we were the last ones on earth. No one to interfere. Just me and Jamie.

Me and Jamie.

It sounded so right, yet so wrong.

Jamie didn't say anything in response to our brief moment. He just sat there with his eyes wide and his mouth agape, like I had done something wrong. After awhile of him just staring at me with a blank look, I started to believe that I had.

"Don't hate me," I said.

He stared at me some more, then blinked. "I don't hate you. I'm just - why did you kiss me?"

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't tell him why because I didn't even know. Certainly the alcohol in my system had something to do with it, but alcohol was known to heighten internal emotions and feelings. And all I really knew was that I really wanted to kiss Jamie right there and then. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't actually mind kissing him. Compared to our first encounter at the kissing booth, I'd say that was a huge improvement.

"Scar," he said softly once he realized I wasn't going to respond. "You're drunk. You're not thinking straight. You're going to sober up and forget this ever happened. Okay?"

Not being able to help myself, I laughed like I just heard the funniest joke in the history of funny jokes. "Isn't this what you wanted all along?"

"What?"

"You wanted to get into my pants," I recalled. "And now that I'm offering myself to you, you're gonna refuse me?"

He shook his head in objection and slapped his hands down on my shoulders, as if trying to knock some sense into me. "I'm refusing you because you're drunk and I don't want to take advantage of you."

Huffing loudly, I pulled my lips into a smile and placed a hand on his upper thigh. "I wanna try it," I said as soon as I was confident with the way I was feeling. Sure, my feelings were subject to change if and when I got sober, but as of right now, I was absolutely certain. "I wanna try being with you."

I knew I succeeded in making Jamie feel uncomfortable by the way his breath hitched in his throat and his body stiffened. But he still didn't remove my hand from his thigh. Instead, he narrowed his gaze, studying me. "You can't try being gay. You either are or you aren't. Which is it?"

He was asking me all these confusing questions that I was too intoxicated to understand. I knew that I still loved Francesca, a lot. I knew that I was still attracted to boobs and vagina and all that stuff that made girls, girls.

But then I also knew that I saw Jamie as something more than a friend. I don't think it had anything to do with his gender. He was just always there when I needed him, despite only knowing him for a few days. Even though I hated his presence at first, I learned to enjoy his company. He actually cared about me, and that was more than Francesca and Trey ever did.

"I don't know," I ended up saying. Even though I was entirely convinced I was attracted to Jamie in some way or form, that could just be the drunk side of my brain trying to make sense of how I felt. Besides, it wasn't like I knew anything about him. He made it his duty to keep every secret under lock and key.