Sugar. Why not?

No One Else Is You

Patrick's PoV

I couldn't do it. There was no way that I could do it.

She'd grabbed me by the shirt and pushed me backwards towards the open door. I tried to want it. I tried to like it but the feeling of her fingers so close to my skin only make me feel sick.

My whole body revolted at her close proximity. I stepped away from her, trying to escape inside the room but she only followed. I opened my mouth to tell her to stop but her lips stopped any words from coming out.

As soon as she'd kissed me it was all over.

"Get out!" I'd snapped, yanking myself free from her hold. She'd looked confused and had kept advancing.

"Why? I thought-" she'd began to reply and I'd cut her off.

"You thought wrong. Get out!" I tried again and she stopped moving. I was so relieved.

"You don't want me?" She'd asked and I wanted to shove her out of the room so bad. I couldn't stand having her near me.

"No I don't. Leave before I make you"

"Are you sure?"

"GET OUUUTT!" I'd roared, stepping towards her to make her leave if she refused again. Her eyes widened in fear and she'd backed away before disappearing down the corridor.

I immediately slammed the door shut, locked the dead bolt and thumped the wood over and over. I kicked at the door in anger, beating the shit out of the inanimate object. With one final punch, I leaned my head against it and clutched my sore knuckles.

"What the fuck do I need to do?" I'd cried to no one and slid down the door until I crumpled into a sobbing ball. If Sofia could've saw me then I'm sure she'd have cringed. Or laughed.

My whole body shook as if trying to dispel the wretched touch of another women. Sickness that threatened to overflow rose within me. Part of it was the alcohol but the other part was disgust at that women's touch. Disgust at myself that I'd even tried to fuck someone else.

This time I had to let the sickness out.

Stumbling and tripping all the way to the bathroom I fell next to toilet. As soon as I lifted the lid the whole contense of my stomach spilling out of my mouth.

I wretched violently and tried to gulp down some air but there was far too much still to come. I hadn't ate a thing all day so the only thing I could throw up was the liquid I'd consumed.

It felt as though I was throwing up everything that mattered to me. It hurt like a bitch and tears stung my eyes. Not from the wrenching pain but from my overall situation.

She'd walked away and abandoned me and I felt like a little boy lost and alone with no one.

After some time on the cold tile floor I'd pulled myself up with the little energy I had left. To say I flopped onto the bed is an understatement. I landed on the duvet like a starfish before rolling over onto my back.

Deep breaths. Count to ten. Pretend everything is fine.

The room spun wildly and it didn't seem to stop when I closed my eyes.

Searching for my phone in my pocket, I pulled it out with the intention of turning it off. I didn't want to see any work emails, texts or phone calls. I didn't want anyone to be able to get through to me.

The only person I'd have liked to have heard from wants nothing to do with me. Not to mention I should have no desire to speak to her either. I couldn't fucking help it. Having someone be there everyday, giving you joy and then having them take it all away can destroy a person.