Sugar. Why not?

You'll Get What's Coming To You

Sofia's PoV

I don't think I'll ever truly believe what just happened. He didn't even put up a fight. He really was planning to leave me.

What was all of this for? Nadia won and we got nothing out of it. We simply lost everything.

I wish I could understand better. His self loathing is bad but I never knew it was so bad that he'd tell me he wasn't safe for me. That he'd sever our relationship because of it.

Now I really do wish I'd died in that warehouse. Because then he would still have his business and I'd never know that he had the ability to let me go.

My parents and Bree don't say a word about my current situation on the six hour train ride home. It occurs to me that I haven't even asked if I can stay with them again. I'm just hoping they'll let me until I get on my feet again.

I'm not sure how long that will take. The thought of a completely new future isn't something I can stomach thinking about.

The normal things that many people worry about don't even enter my brain. No money. No job. No aspirations...who gives a fuck about any of that. Definitely not me.

In fact I can't wait to send all of Patrick's money back to him so that I can relieve myself of the crushing guilt I feel. I wish I'd never accepted his money or used it to pay off my loans. I wish he hadn't bought me a thing because no matter how desperate I am for cash, I'll never be okay with spending someone else's money.

In fact, staying in his apartment without paying him a dime drove me mad too. I guess I felt pacified by the fact that I felt like I belonged at his side. That maybe one day we'd get a house together and I'd be able to pay half of everything. Silly me.

I'm still grateful for everything he's done for me, all the while wishing it never happened. I should have dealt with it all on my own. I'll never again let anyone pay for my life.

The money I have earned from working in the coffee shop will be used to pay my parents rent.

If I was determined to get a new job before well now I'm psychotic about it. I need a distraction from the excruciating pain flowing in my veins. I need income and to grow the fuck up.

Get a Sugar Daddy! All your problems will disappear! Yeah sure! Or you'll fall in love with him and he'll end up pushing you away.

My strong bravado crumbles as the train pulls into the station. God I don't want to be back home. I feel like a failure. A complete mess.

My tear stained cheeks don't help one tiny bit.

The simple fact is I don't actually care about my future. Deep down I don't care about tomorrow or the next day. I don't care if I stay jobless and end up on the street...not really. Because none of that matters. None of that hurts me.

The thing that scares me most about my future is the fact that it's not going to have Patrick in it.

Patrick's PoV

~One Week Since Sofia Left~

"Do you plan of fighting for your fucking company or not?" Jack yells down the line causing my head ache to pound harder.

"No I don't plan of that. Currently I'm planning on waiting until my residual income stops getting deposited into my bank account. I don't know why I'm still getting paid when I don't own the fucking company! I don't want it!"

"Well until that bitch Zoya takes some kind of action it'll keep happening. She may have her name on the contracts and documents but these things don't change within a week Patrick!"