Sugar. Why not?

Mr Stump & Miss Westwood

Authors Note: Please forgive me because I have no idea how court really works. I've no understanding of law or legal things so hopefully it still all makes sense! Enjoy!

Patrick's PoV

Have you ever felt like your heart was going to burst? Or that the world is so unfair you are very willing to tear the whole earth to pieces?

Well I have.

The second I saw her.

My constant wonderings of her well being were answered instantly as I noticed how little bruising was visible on her face and arms now. She's healing. She's okay.

She didn't look to be in pain like she was a few weeks ago and I wanted to punch the air because that fact makes me so happy. God I wanted to ask her how she is. I need to hear that she's okay.

However, if I thought I felt empty before then I was wrong. Having her so close, yet so emotionally far away left a huge cavernous whole inside me.

There's so much I could have said. So much I should have said. I've never felt such yearning. Such agony from not being about to be close to a person.

She's so beautiful. Yet to see the emotional strain on her face matching mine, only ingrains more hurt onto me. Because I caused that strain.

Trying to do the right thing sometimes really doesn't seem worth it at all. Keeping her safe? Yet making her hurt...

Is that justified? I'm not so sure anymore.

Now all I get to do is walk away from her and into another hideous situation that I don't want to face.

I could face it if I had her. She makes me better. I can't help but want to know if she still cares about me. Not having her is my fault too though and
she may hate me now.

Yet even having her in the same room as me, whether she hates me or not, somehow gives me strength. Here I am again being selfish. Using her to make myself feel better.

With that thought, I steal a glance at her once more as I take my allocated seat in the court room. She's a couple of rows behind me and she catches my stare.

It makes me snap my head back around, embarrassed that I've been busted. I really need to get myself under control.

Self control is something I did once have. Then she blew all of that to smithereens in the best way possible. I didn't need to censor myself with her or hold back. I could be me.

Right now though, as the court room fills up and silence falls, I realise that I'm going to have to fight really hard to keep control in a different manner. Where she let me be free, she also had the ability to help me breath in difficult situations.

Sofia has this magic about her that keeps me calm. She can't take my hand now. She can't kiss my cheek. And she can't whisper in my ear and tell me that it'll all be okay.

Have I always been so unhinged? So angry and ready for violence? Or is this a new thing?

Suddenly I hear the judge being announced and stand robotically as he enters. My legs wobble slightly throughout the seconds before I can sit again.

The back of my neck prickles with a feeling that I'm familiar with. I may be wrong but I think Sofia is staring a whole into the back of my head.

Which is why when more announcements are made, I can barely make them out because my head is swimming.

Wiping my sweaty palms on my dress pants, I take a deep breath and glance up just in time for the accused to be ushered into the court.

I feel my jaw clenching as rage fills me. She walks by confidently, led by two police men. I'm glad she doesn't look in my direction because that may tip me over the edge. If she's smug about this I honestly don't know how I'm going to stay put.