Sugar. Why not?

Ecstasy

Sofia's PoV

How can I just end this conversation and walk away from him? We've just achieved an amazing thing. We put a person who caused us both so much pain in jail.

Neither of us know what to say or do now. The awkwardness is choking me. I hate it. Awkward is something we've never been.

"Sofia, can we go now?" I hear my Mom's voice for the third time and I want to turn around and glare at her. She could give us some privacy?!

I do turn around and plaster a tight smile on my face.

"Can you give us a minute please? I won't be long" I ask and pray she just gives me this moment with him.

She raises her eyebrows and shakes her head in annoyance but huffs and then begins to walk away. Well, I'm going to get one hell of a talking to as soon as I get out of here.

"Sorry about her" I sigh as I turn back to face Patrick. Who now has his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders slumped.

"You don't have to apologise. It's understandable. I hurt her daughter so naturally she's going to be wary of me. I honestly don't blame her" he replies and smirks as if he's trying to brush it off as a joke. Except I know he means it. Even though I should still be mad at him, all I can think is how I don't want him to put himself down. I'm a sucker.

"Well, I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions" I retort. Even though I just made the decision not to speak to him properly. Idiot!

"Yeah you can Darling" he says so softly that I barely hear it. Every time he says Darling my heart skips a beat. This is no different and I can feel my cheeks heating. "How are feeling? Are your ribs better?" He then asks quickly as if it's something he's been dying to know but wasn't sure when would be the right time to.

"Yeah they're much better actually. Still a little twinge here and there but it really isn't that bad" I reply and he immediately looks relieved. Was he worried about me? I guess that makes sense.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. I hated the thought that-" he stops and shakes his head. "Never mind" he whispers, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly.

"You hated the thought that what?" I ask because now I want to know. Which is nothing new. I wanna know everything he wants to tell me. I really have it bad...for him.

He looks terrified for a fleeting moment before he recovers.

"I hated the thought of you in pain. That you were hurting. I know you were hurting in other ways because of me but I was hoping the psychical side of things were getting better. I'm really glad they are"

I want to tell him that it's not his fault. Which is true, the psychical pain isn't. But I can't say he didn't cause me pain. That would mean I was lying. He did break my heart. Yet I don't think he should feel guilty. He tried to do what he thought was best no matter how angry it made me.

So I go for the best statement I can think of that won't be lying.

"We're both hurting Patrick"

That earns me a swift nod as if he can't bare to say anymore. Then he changes the subject.

"Who'd have thought Gabe would have saved the day huh?" He raises his eyebrows, a bemused expression on his face.

These are things we need to talk about but they're also being used as small talk. So that this conversation is prolonged. Neither of us want to let go.

I'm just realising that when I walk away, I may never see him again. Which has me looking away from his intense gaze so I can blink back yet more tears. I think I've cried enough to fill the sea.