Summer Love✔️

Not Your Fault

Chapter Fifteen: Not Your Fault

'i'm here.'

I sighed and looked up from my phone screen, waiting for a minute before I responded. I would always care about Connor, when I ended things with him, that was something I knew would never change. But I also knew that he couldn't make me truly happy, not while he was friends with George at least and that didn't seem like it was something that was going to change.

But the past few days... Connor had been different. 

And of course, it had come at just the perfect time, right as Mitchell and I were making up.

I slid my feet into a pair of slippers and put my hair into a messy bun. Unlike earlier with Mitchell, I felt no urge or obligation to dress up for Connor, so I was simply wearing a large Stanford t-shirt and a pair of Nike running shorts. I quietly slid out of my room and down the stairs to meet Connor at the front door. 

He stood there in a guard hoodie and a grey pair of jogging pants. His hair was messy, his clothes were wrinkled, and what was more? He looked tired.

"Hey," I said quietly as I stepped outside. "You wanna go around back to the beach?"

"Yeah, sure." He nodded with a tight forced smile.

When we got to the beach, we sat down side by side, though I could tell he had intentionally put distance between us. I decided to stay quiet and wait for him to speak. 

After a couple minutes of just listening to the waves break against the sand, Connor sighed, "My parents have been fighting a lot lately.

"The ice cream earlier? It wasn't for my sister, it was for my mom. It was the only thing we could-" he paused and turned to me, almost like he wasn't sure if he could tell me, or he wasn't sure if he could trust me. 

I put my hand on top of his hand, and he flipped his hand to grasp mine tightly. 

"The only thing we could convince her to eat." He finished, letting out a slow breath, and after that everything else just came tumbling out of his mouth. "She walked in a couple days ago on my dad with another woman- a much younger woman- to the point where we questioned if she was even legal. She kicked him out and had me deliver him some divorce papers, which he refused to sign. He's threatening her now and saying if she doesn't let him back in the house, he'll leak the cheating rumors, and a scandal like that, even if she had nothing to do with it, will completely end her career as a politician."

Connor's mom had served as the mayor for two terms and was running for governor next year.

"Shit." I replied. It was the only thing I could coherently think of at the moment that applied to the situation. "I mean, damn Connor that's-, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." He replied, trying to keep his voice light and make a joke, but I could still hear the underlying pain in his tone. 

I squeezed his hand tightly and he looked up at me with a grateful smile.

"It still sucks though Connor, and I'm sorry this happened to you, your mom, your sister. I wish there was something I could do..." I told him.

"Listening is enough. God, I can't even imagine what George would say if I told him something like this. He'd probably make some stupid joke and ask if my mom is single now." Connor laughed darkly and almost self deprecatingly.

"Why do you hang out with him?" I asked him. 

I supposed it wasn't the time to bring it up, especially after this had been such an issue between us in the past, but it seemed like Connor had more to say on the subject.

"He's been my best friend since I was five years old, it's hard to let go of someone like that... I thought you would understand." Connor replied almost sharply as his eyes darted toward the house.

And I guessed he was right. Even though Mitchell was nowhere near as evil as George.

"I'm sorry," He sighed, "I just, I don't know. He wasn't always like how he is, and he's not always like it even now. I know this doesn't make any sense at all." Connor sighed and took in a breath before restarting, "Sometimes when it's just me, him, and Logan, he's cool. I just feel like he needs me, you know? I can't just, you know..." He turned to glance at me shyly.

"I guess I don't understand because all George has ever been to me is, well, rude. And from what I've seen, he isn't the best friend to you. Just know that if you ever need to talk I'm always here." I told him.

"Thank you, Hallie." Connor smiled gratefully, "That means more than you know." He glanced back toward the waves, and we resumed the silence.

A slight breeze blew across the beach and I shivered slightly, scooting closer to him. 

"Are you cold?" He asked with a slight laugh.

"Just a little." I replied. "I probably should have brought a jacket."

Connor chuckled again before releasing my hand to take off his hoodie and hand it to me. I resisted the urge to tell him it was fine, because I truly was cold. Once I had it over my head, Connor grabbed my hand back. It was a friendly gesture though, I noted that he didn't lace our fingers like he had when we were hanging out, and for some reason, it made me a bit sad.

We sat in silence for a couple more moments before Connor looked back at me, "So, uh, you and Mitchell, huh?" The tone of his voice was neutral. It gave nothing away though I selfishly found myself hoping there was something in it that I was missing. 

"What about us?" I questioned, looking back at him, challenging him almost.

"You two seemed close today." Connor replied very matter of factly, still with the same neutral tone.

"Well, we're becoming friends again... like we used to be." I replied, not giving him anything since he wouldn't give me anything.

"Come on Hallie, I'm not stupid." Connor said, finally giving in and letting a bit of emotion show through in his voice as he pulled his hand away from mine. 

"Well what do you want me to say? It's the truth, Mitchell and I are just friends!" 

"You can't seriously believe he's going to want to stay just friends with you-"

"It's not really your place to try and get involved with whatever is going on between Mitchell and I." I replied, cringing slightly at my cold tone. 

Connor recoiled, shocked, taken aback.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry." He stood up quickly, brushed the sand off his pants. "I should go."

"Connor, wait." I sighed. I hadn't meant for my tone to be so harsh. And truly, the reason I had snapped was probably because I myself didn't know what was going on with Mitchell and I, it was confusing.

"No, it's late." He slipped his phone out of his pocket to check it. "It's already 1 am, I should probably get home, but thank you for listening, seriously." 

I relented, I didn't know what was going on... I didn't know what to say, so I guess I had to let him walk away. "Anytime, Connor." I replied softly.

He leaned in to give me a very brief hug and then turned away. "See you around." 

I swallowed, not replying back because I didn't trust my voice to not break. All too soon, the gentle purr of Connor's car faded away and his presence on the beach was just a memory. 

It was late, that was true, but I wasn't quite ready to go back inside yet, so I sat on the beach and rested my chin on my knees. I let my mind wander until my thoughts came less frequently and my mind churned slower, my body relaxed and my eyes began to feel heavier...

soooo... i get we're all on team hallie, but i'm still gonna ask... team mitchell or team connor?