Tangled Sheets ↣ lashton

Chapter Three

Ashton woke up and he already knew that today wasn't going to be his day , at all. He felt sick and depressed and his anxiety was worse than normal.

He felt terrible , so mentally drained and he wasn't even awake for more then ten minutes. He had these days were his anxiety kicked in and made him feel like he was struggling to breath,like he was drowning and in need of air.

He knew that any small bump in his road could bring him down just as easily as the mistake to gasp for air because your lungs will be filled with water and then you know there's no chance of living anymore.

Luckily he had some pills that made him feel less dead,he only used him in times like these were he needed them to not break down completely because the last time he did wasn't pretty.

It was months ago but he could remember it in the smallest detail, he had felt so broken,worthless and it felt like he was dying. 

He walked inside of his house, he was having an awful day , he could hear screaming coming from inside of the living room , being the stupid and naive boy he was , he walked inside of the living room.

It was the first time he ever witnessed his parents fighting and boy it wasn't pretty at all, there were plates smashing and screaming, crying and things being thrown at each other. he had never in his life felt so , so , so ,so fucking scared and helpless . He didn't know what to do , he was frozen.

He couldn't move and his dad had seen him, he was mad at him to, he started yelling at Ashton and screaming, there were things thrown at the poor hazel eyed boy who couldn't move

His mum was trying to stop his dad but he wouldn't , he kept releasing his anger on him, telling him how worthless he was, how much drama he caused the entire family and Ashton believed him.

That was the worst thing, Ashton believed every single word of it because he got that thrown at him all the time in school , home was his safe place but since that moment it wasn't anymore.

It wasn't more than a place where he could eat and sleep but he always had the feeling that he had to walk around the house on his tippy toes , he was scared to make anyone upset because that was all he could do , make somebody upset and being a useless waste of space.

His dad had pushed him away and he had finally moved his jelly like legs and ran out of the living room, he was hyperventilating and crying at the same time.

He felt like he couldn't breath anymore and had to stop half way up the stairs,he stood halfway up the stairs gasping for air that never filled his lungs, he had tried to get a grip on the handrail but he simply didn't have enough power to hold on.

He had passed out, fainted , everything went completely black and he had fallen down the stairs. The noise had caught his parents attention and his mother started to cry when she saw him laying in front of the stairs unconscious.

He had woken up in the  hospital with a concussion, they said that he was lucky that he only had a concussion, he could've broken his neck by falling down the stairs backwards like that.

That was also the time that they discovered the anxiety and the time that they decided to make him see a shrink weekly. They had given him pills to take when he felt his anxiety kick in.

At first he took them almost daily but he got better even though the bullying and parental fighting continued but he somehow got a little bit stable, maybe it was because around a month later Michael popped up into Ashton's life.

The stupid guy that always dyed his hair and listened to the same bands as he did, they weren't great friends but it was something he hadn't had in a long time. 

Now, he knew how to handle situations like those better, he got up and walked towards the bathroom, taking his pills before he jumped underneath the warm shower.

He quickly got dressed and walked downstairs , he was greeted by his siblings simply eating cereal and his mum looking like a wreck and he felt so bad for her.

He hated to hear her cry in her bedroom whenever his dad left after fighting, like he did last night. probably to go to a bar and drink his problems away. He wanted to know why they were fighting so much ,he wanted it to stop.

He wanted to be a normal family for once,he just wanted a normal life for once but he couldn't have one and why?  he didn't know ,maybe it was for that time he stole a cookie out of the cookie jar when he was about 6.

He quickly made himself some breakfast and joined his siblings smiling at their bublyness in the early hours of the day, like life was amazing. Life is amazing as a kid but then you grow up and see how fucked up the world really is and how dark those clouds really are.

You get to see all he nasty things about life when you get older, people get even harsher and life's just cruel.

After he shoved his breakfast inside of him he left to walk towards school, the sun was shining bright but the sun just fooled everyone because it was kinda cold in this early morning.

When he got to school he quickly made his way towards his locker and took the books he needed for the first couple of periods and walked towards his class, there only were like two people in the class already but it gave him the opportunity to sit in the back of the class.

He slipped into the seat in the corner of the very back of the class and sighed in content , he got out his sketch book and continued his drawing of the three, it looked really cool all black and white with the blue popping out.

After a couple of minutes the students started to pour in like a wild fire and a minute later the teacher walked in and his history class had started.

History went fine, he had felt the pills kick in and working , English also went perfectly fine and he was happy for that but when lunch came his anxiety kinda kicked in because he knew lunch was when 'it' happened and he really didn't want it to happen today.

He just rushed out of his English class and towards  his locker to get his books, he was desperately going through his locker when he was pushed against it, he stumbled a bit and got kicked in the back of his knees sending him to the floor.

He already had the tears in his eyes ready to pour over his face , he felt a sharp pain in his stomach as somebody kicked him there, probably Tristan.

He didn't care that he was crying by now , he just wanted it to be over, to end , just like his life.

After they were done with him he had picked himself up from the floor, a couple of people watching him intensely and he hated the attention, because to them he probably looked so weak and he hated being seen as weak but he knew he was weak.

He quickly got the books he needed and walked towards the toilets , spending his lunch break there like most days. It was nice and quiet and he didn't risk getting beat up.

When he got home he came home to an empty home,his mother must have gone out with his siblings without him like they do allot. He sighed and walked upstairs and into his room.

He let himself fall on his bed and he just cried,he cried for hours and hours, the depression getting the best of him. He felt so lonely and he couldn't help but cry even harder at his pathetic excuse of a life.

He hated his life with every passion he had left in his body, he felt so tired of it all.