Long Live the New Dynasty || Namjoon x Reader

Happy

Ch.42

You never felt more conflicted in your entire life. The loss of Hwayoung hadn't fully set in and you clearly haven't moved on. Her death left you an empty shell. It felt impossible to even smile or look at things on the bright side. There was no bright side. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry. Nothing felt worth it anymore, but you knew Hwayoung would give you a little glaring look for thinking this way. You're still alive so why are you acting dead? It couldn't be helped. Each of your movements were slow and the others had to move at your pace. They were doing their best for you even if that meant acting careful around you. You don't know why they weren't acting the same as you.

So many emotional outbursts left you that you felt drained. Namjoon would hold you, giving you something to lean on. You were a just a walking disaster at this point. The angels let you be that way yet they were holding back tears of their own. They were back to acting as strict angels for the King which you couldn't stand. Why weren't they crying like you? How could they go back as if everything were normal!? It wasn't normal. You would look around and count six angels in total. That was wrong. It felt so wrong. Not having Hwayoung around made you panic to the point where you felt delirious. You wanted to go back after her in hopes that she'd be walking around. She'd huff about all of you forgetting about her, but that wasn't true. Namjoon had the angels bury her.

It had been thirty minutes since you last cried and now more tears were coming. Bringing your hands up to your mouth, your face was turning red again. You were quick to lean towards Namjoon for comfort. He at least could show his emotions. He wasn't hiding them to necessarily make you feel better. Namjoon was only trying to find the right moments to express them but would cry with you when needed. He was mainly doing his best to keep you walking forward. He would try to get you to calm down so there were no tears anymore. He never once told you to stop crying already. He waited for you to feel somewhat okay before you needed the help again.

Namjoon kissed your head, noticing how tightly you had been gripping Hwayoung's hairpin. You hadn't released it from your hold since the moment she gave it to you. Other angels offered to hold it for you, but you refused to let them even touch it. Namjoon asked if he was also included in that and unfortunately, he was. No one was allowed to touch or hold Hwayoung's hairpin. No one, but you and Seungwon. Only Seungwon will be able to hold this when you return it to him. A few more tears trickled down your face as you thought of Seungwon. What are you guys going to say to him? It only caused your heart to ache more.

"Poor Seungwon..." You frowned as Namjoon held you tighter.

"I know." Namjoon let out a sigh. "We need to make it back home as fast as we can. He should know."

"He loved her more than anything..." You turned the hairpin over in your hand. It was a beautiful piece. Perfect for Hwayoung. Gold until it reached the petals of the flower. That's when it was left in two different shades of pink. One lighter than the other. There was a single thin dangling gold chain on the hairpin that had a small pink flower gem at the end. He put so much thought into getting this for her. You still remember how happy she was when she first wore it around you. She was glowing. How could a glowing light like her be suddenly put out? It made no sense. She was breathing and now it was over? "I miss Hwayoung..."

"I know you do. I miss her a lot too." Namjoon cleared his throat, resting his head against yours. You stared at the hairpin as if you were left in a trance. It was probably the only thing that could remind you of everything around you. It was Hwayoung telling you to think about your baby instead. Telling you to think about Namjoon. About the other angels who were still with you. You were doing your best for her. It was just really hard at times.

"I want to rest." You took in a deep breath, taking a step away from Namjoon. You were quick to regret that with how warm he felt. He was comforting and you needed that desperately. Though you knew he needed to heal too. You weren't the only one suffering even though it felt like it.