Long Live the New Dynasty || Namjoon x Reader

Fighting For Something

Ch.43

How fast is it supposed to take for someone to heal? Despite trying to keep a hopeful outlook, you were struggling to ignore how you truly felt inside. It's only been a week since Hwayoung's death and you felt just as broken as when it all happened. The memory of her death tortured you relentlessly. It was burned into your mind and would come whenever it pleased. Just as you were about to sleep, you would remember everything. It would suddenly feel like your body was back in Lady Eunchae's courtyard. You could feel the cold air on your skin and hear your shrieks through the open yard. It left you unable to sleep with how much it haunted you. There was never a single moment of peace in your mind no matter how much you tried to smile and look on the bright side. It was impossible.

It felt like you were in nightmare that's been going on for too long. You just wanted to wake up already and have Hwayoung by your side. To hear her laugh and tease each other once more. That was what you craved for. It wasn't the same with the other angels. They weren't Hwayoung. You didn't want to push away the angels, but that's what you've been doing. You weren't straight forward about it, but it was clear you wanted to be left alone. The only one you allowed to talk to you was Namjoon and Taehyung. At least you were the most stable looking at them. It was easier to give them smiles than your fellow angels or the thieves.

It was strange though. You pushed away the angels because they reminded you of everything yet you missed them. They were less than a couple feet away and you missed them along with Hwayoung. You were making yourself feel alone. It made you wonder if you would feel happier hearing one of Solji's little stories with morals to learn at the end or get the honest truth from Hyojin. Maybe you needed to laugh with Heeyeon and Hyelin or get showered with love by Jeonghwa. They were patiently waiting for you as they tried to heal too. It was fair to say that everyone in this wagon was messed up inside. The only one who had it together was Happy. Happy is just great like that.

God, a week has passed. You sighed heavily and stared at your lap with the hairpin in your hand. It had stayed in your grip even as you slept. Overall, you felt so lost. A week and you don't see a difference in how you feel. Feeling okay didn't sound like an achievable goal at this point. Another sigh left you just as Taehyung's hands came into your vision. In his hands was a plum. It wasn't much, but you could tell what he was doing. Taehyung practically stayed glued to you during the trip. It was by his own choice, but Namjoon also wanted him near you. Taehyung was set as your physician and so he was only trying to take care of you. The other angels were silent meanwhile the thieves glanced over their shoulders to look at your slouching form.

"Please eat this, (F/n)." Taehyung nudged it towards you. His voice was soft and he was being gentle which you appreciated, but you shook your head.

"I'm not hungry." You let out another sigh as he frowned. He kept the plum held out towards you, pursing his lips.

Everyone else in the wagon was worried to hear that coming from you. The angels wanted to say something, but Namjoon ordered them to give you space. He thought that might help. He would be ready to lift that at any point so it wasn't permanent. The angels remained silent along with the thieves. Jimin and Hoseok hadn't necessarily gotten closer to you. You weren't as outgoing and friendly as you naturally were in front of them. That didn't stop them from feeling sympathetic. It was mainly Jimin who felt concerned for the Queen considering that you wouldn't be eating just for yourself. Taehyung looked over his shoulder to meet Namjoon's eyes. The King was stressing over this, crawling closer to you to place his hand on your head.

"(F/n), you need to eat something. You barely eat and that's not good," Namjoon said, petting your head.

"You have to eat for the baby, (F/n). Please." Taehyung begged. He was desperate, wishing you would take the plum already. Your eyes slowly looked up to meet both of their eyes.