Unspeakable Pain

Chapter 21

Betty POV

I woke up and dreaded going to school again. But, I had to so I could talk to Jughead about coming to therapy with me. I got up, put on another pair of black leggings, a light pink hoodie, my hair in a messy bun and my white vans. I skipped breakfast because I wasn't hungry and went to school.

When I got to school everyone was waiting by the steps.
"Hey, Betty" Toni said.
"Hi" I said quietly.
"Betty. Come on." Veronica said annoyed.
"What?" I said confused.
"We get it. You're upset you broke up with Jughead but you can't just ignore us all the time! We're trying to help you! Stop moping around!" She yelled they last part.
"Veronica!" "V!" "What the hell!" Everyone yelled at her.
"If you were trying to help, you would stop pushing me to do this I don't want to. You would understand that my 'moping around' might be because I pushed away the one person who made me feel like I was good enough. So I'm sorry if my sadness has been an inconvenience for you!" I yelled at her. She just stared blankly at me. I got up and went to the Blue and Gold.

I heard a knock at the door.
"Betty?" Toni asked.
"Hi" I smiled sadly at her.
"Don't listen to Veronica. She's wrong. You're not an inconvenience to any of us. We know you're going through a tough time, we just want to make sure you're okay." Toni explained.
"It's fine, Toni." I said.
"Do you want to come back out with us?" She asked.
"No, it's okay. I have to finish up an article anyway." I smiled sadly at her. She got up and left.

I heard someone walk in.
"Toni, I said I'm ok-" I started then realized who was there. "Jughead" I sighed.
I knew I had to ask him but I was so scared.
"I-um wanted to see if you were okay. I heard Veronica." He said.
"I'm fine." I said looking at the floor. "But Um. I uh....need to ask you s-something." I said shyly.
"Okay?" He said questionably.
"So I talked to m-my therapist a-and she suggested that I t-take you w-with me to my next appointment so we can tell eachother how we're f-feeling." I said nervously. "S-so will you come?" I asked.
"Um...yea I'll come. Next Monday?" He asked.
"Actually... I um.....I have an appointment today at 3" I said. He looked sad realizing I was going two times a week again. "Oh! It's not an every week thing she just thought it would be best if we talked this week." I said and he sighed in relief.
"Oh, okay. Um do you uh......need a ride since we both are going." He suggested.
"Um, sure." I smiled sadly. We were sitting there in silence until the bell rang and we went to class.

Time Pass-Lunch

I went to the Blue and Gold again. I couldn't see Jughead, but I also didn't want to see Veronica. She has no idea what I'm going through. Why can't she just be supportive like everyone else? I decided to do my homework and get it over with. Then, I went to my last period class with Jughead.

Class was finally over and Jug and I awkwardly walked to his motorcycle.
"Um. Are you uh okay with holding on to me?" He asked nervously.
"Yea, I think I should be fine." I got on behind him and put my arms around him. It was an awkward ride but we arrived before we knew it.

"Hi Betty, Jughead." Dr.sullivan said, we both smiled at her. We walked into the room and there were 2 chairs facing Dr.Sullivans with a black curtain between them.
"So Betty, you will sit in one chair and Jughead in the other. That way I can see you both and you can hear how the other feels, without getting intimidated by their presence. But, you cannot respond to eachother until I ask you to." We both nodded and sat down.

"We'll start with Betty and the basic question. Why did you break up with Jughead?" She said. I looked down.
"I-uh. I don't know." I said as a tear strolled down my face.
"You do know. You just have to admit it to yourself." She said.
"I can't say it." I cried.
"Why not?" She asked.
"Because. He'll realize it's the truth and then...." I stopped.
"Then what?" She asked.
"Then, he'll leave me for sure." I cried and took a deep breathe.

Jughead POV

What could I possibly leave her for? I love her too much to ever leave her.

"Jughead. Why do you think Betty broke up with you?" She asked me.
"I-uh. Well when we fought, um she mentioned how it was my friend that did this to her. So, I thought she finally realized what I had, previously noticed and hated me now.." I said.
"And what did you notice?" She asked.
"That it was um.... that it was my fault." I cried.
"Betty. Do you blame Jughead?" She asked her.
"What?! No! Not at all!" Betty said sounding shocked. "Am I uh...allowed to say something to him." She asked.
"Yes." Dr.sullivan said.
"Jughead. This was not your fault and if you keep blaming yourself it will break you. Trust me, I know. I used to blame myself until I realized it was only Sweet Peas. No one else's. No one could've stopped this. And I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I love you too much." Betty said crying. "So please...don't blame yourself." She pleaded.
"I'll try not to." I said with a sad smile even though she couldn't see it.
"Now, Betty. Why did you break up with him?"

Betty POV

"Now, Betty. Why did you break up with him?"
I took a deep breathe.
"I broke up with him because I was scared."
"Of what?" She asked me.
"I was scared that he uh....would realize how broken I am, and leave me. I also knew he deserved better than some broken girl who couldn't even give hugs without breaking down." I cried.
"Betty, I would never leave you. I don't think you're broken, but if you are I'm here to help you put the pieces back together. And Betty, I don't care if you can't give hugs anymore. You'll get there someday. And I don't want anyone else. I want you Elizabeth Rose Cooper and only you." Jughead said and I cried.
"Betty, how does that make you feel?" Dr.Sullivan asked.
"Part of me is happy that he wants me, but the other part of me is full of regret." I said truthfully.
"Why is that?"
"Because. I know it's too late and he hates me for causing him this pain." I confessed.
"Jughead, is that true? Do you hate Betty?"
"What?! No! I love her more than I love myself! I could never hate you Betts." He said.
"After all this, have you guys realized how important communication is?" Dr.Sullivan asked us.
"Yea" "yes" we respond.
"What triggered the fight."
"I messed up and said It understand it's hard'" he said.
"And then I didn't let him finish and flipped out." I said looking down.
"Betty why do you think you flipped out?" She asked me.
"I don't know. I guess it's because everyone keeps telling me it will be okay and they understand what I'm going through, but they haven't gone through it so they don't know. So, I pushed away the one person who hasn't said those things because I snapped." I said.
"Betty, it is okay to get mad. Everything you're feeling is normal, but it is important to use your coping mechanisms so you don't flip out on the people who love you and are trying to help." Dr. Sullivan said. "Does Jughead scare you?"
"No! Not at all!" I said.
"So, explain to him why you don't let him touch you anymore." She said.
"It's not that I'm scared of him, because I'm not. I know he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. It's just. The last time someone touched me, they betrayed and violated me. And- I'm trying to get better at it. I really am. But, it's still hard." I sighed.
"See. Jughead, Betty isn't scared of you. She's scared of people's touch. Have you told him about the massage therapy?" She asked.
"I did, but then we uh broke up later that day so we never got around to it." I sighed.
"Okay. It is up to you whether you want to try it or not." Dr.Sullivan said.
"Okay, thank you. I'll see you next Monday."

"So.... um what does this mean for us?" I asked Jug when we got outside.
"Well, it could mean two things. One, we take our space and stay friends until you're ready. Or two, we could date again and pick up where we left off." He said.
"I like option two better."
"Me too" he said as he kissed me.
"Oh! I forgot to tell you!" I said and he smiled. "You know how I got called to the principles office yesterday?" I asked and he nodded.
"I'm the valedictorian!!!" I said excitedly and jumped into his arms.
"Baby, I'm so proud of you!" He said as he kissed me. We made out for a few minutes until he drove me home.

Everything was going to be okay.

A/N: honestly this might be one of my favorite parts I've written! Make sure to comment and vote! :)