The Magcon Girl(Magcon boys fanfiction)

s i x t e e n

SHAWN.

As I'm singing Give me Love, there's this... feeling in my chest. I feel as if my stomach's twisting into knots, kind of like the feeling you get when you know you did something wrong.The frown that took over her face doesn't seem to leave my mind and I push the thought of her to the back of my mind for a few seconds as I sing the chorus.

However,the song remind me of her,and it's even worse because the song lyrics completely relate to my feeling right now.

Why was she nice to me?She smiled,she wished me luck for my performance,and I didn't even thank her. Instead,I acted like a complete douchebag. 

I realize I'm becoming more and more frustrated as my hand strums the guitar more violently by seconds.I recollect myself and finish the song. I know this wasn't my best performance - but the crowd cheers nonetheless.

I mutter a thankyou in the microphone and grab my guitar,heading backstage. The guys smile at me, but frown as they see I'm not even trying to smile. 

Fuck,I hate this.I hate this shit.I just want to go in the dressing room and sleep.

The guilt is now heavier than ever and I try my best to get past the boys before I start weeping infront of them like a bitch. But as always, life's unfair and the boys stop me.

''Hey man,you okay?'' Gilinsky says with fucking fake worry in his voice. 

Like her fucking cares,

I mentally remark.

''I'm fine.''I say and groan in frustration when fucking Cameron puts his hand on my shoulder.I take a deep breath as my hands bail into fists and I try to calm down my anger.I know I'm shaking and I need to get out of here.I need to.

''You sure?Shawn we're bros.We know you.''He says and I almost laugh at his face.Who the fuck does he think he is,acting like my fucking mother all of the sudden,when all he does is annoy me 24/7.

''I said I'm fucking fine,okay!''I yell before I can stop myself.They look taken aback,almost shocked even and I roll my eyes as I push through them angrily and jog towards the dressing room. My vision is all blury,because I'm crying like a damn baby and I can't even stop it. Thankfully I reach the dressing room and open the door quickly and slam it shut just as quick.I lean onto it and before I know it I'm sobbing.I'm shaking and my chest hurts as if I've just been stabbed.

It's my fault,it's all my fault.

''Shawn?''

What the fuck is she doing here?I turn around and there's Elle,standing about two feet away from me. She's looking at me with worry.

She saw me crying like a baby.God,am I pathetic.

I can't even bring myself to turn around and walk out of the room,all I do is lean my back on it and stare past her as more tears run down my cheeks. She raises her hand to my cheek and before it can make contact with my skin,I slap it away.

''Shawn,what's wron?''

Everything is fucking wrong.Everything.

''Nothing.''I reply,my voice cracking.

''It can't be nothing if you're like this.''She says,taking a step closer to me.Her vanilla scent fills my nostrils and it intoxicating and I want to hold her hand.

''You don't know anything!''I raise my voice.Her palm is cupping my cheek softly before I can stop it and I grab my her wrist with my palm.

''Don't,'' 

I leave my hand there.My head is spinning and my hands are shaking and my chest hurts but I can still feel my heart beating fast and nervously because of her.Even though I don't admit it,she drives me crazy.

 ELLE.

He doesn't move my hand,and it stays there. Even though he's rude to me, I feel sorry for him.I know there's a reason why he's like that. For what I've heard from Cameron,Shawn wasn't like this when they first met.

''I know there's something.You can tell me Shawn.''I tell him quietly and as calm as possible,hoping to get some information out of him.

''No, I can't.''He says.His voice is raspy and almost a whisper.He isn't even looking at me,but past me and it hits me that if something's wrong,it must be terrible.

''Yes,yes you can.''I know I'm almost begging,but I don't even care anymore.There's a broken boy standing in front of me and I can't let go of the fact that he needs someone.Maybe not me,but I'll still be here for him.

He shakes his head and I sigh.I turn his head so that he's facing me and he finally looks in my eyes.I almost gasp at the sight - his eyes are red and swollen and I can see the sadness behind them.It almost makes my own water.

''Look,I'm not going to force you,but just know that I'm here for you.''I tell him,and I mean it.Even though he hides behind this rude person,deep down he's sad.It reminds me of myself after dad died.

''I,I can't tell you yet.It's too much and you'll hate me after that.It's all my fault.''He says and I shake my head.

''I won't hate you,but you'll tell me when you're ready,okay?''I tell him and smile at him.He doesn't smile back,and I understand him.

Instead of a reply,he shocks me by pulling me in a hug.His arms wrap around me tightly and I can feel a shaky sigh falling from his lips as his chest shakes.It's almost heartbreaking and I hug him back just as tight. 

''I'll tell you,just not now, not today. I'm not able to.''He whispers and I nod.

''It's okay to be sad,''I tell him and I mean it with all my heart.

''It's okay.''

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I'm so sorry for such a shitty and short chapter but I really really wanted to update because I hate slow updates,but these exams are KILLING me. thank you for voting!! I hope you enjoy!