Even Angels Die (One Direction)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Katy’s POV

Dear Jack,

It’s been almost three and a half years since you were taken from me in the cruellest and most unbearable way possible…but I’m still not over you. The doctors said that with time I’d be able to focus on all the happy memories we had, without feeling like my whole world had been torn apart. I’m still not there yet. You were my world, and without you there’s a hole in my heart that can’t be filled.

As silly as it sounds I still expect you to be the one I’m opening the door to. I still expect you to be the one calling my name. It never will be again. I miss the way you say my name. I miss your smile, your eyes, your laugh. I miss the way I would laugh at your jokes until my sides hurt. I miss the feel of my fingers entwined with yours. I miss the way you would kiss me when I was in the middle of speaking. I miss you. I’m constantly thinking of you.

I know I’ll never find someone like you. You were everything I ever wanted and everything I ever dreamt of. I imagine what life would be like for us now, if you were still here by my side. You always said you wanted to be married young…would we be engaged now? Would I be pregnant with your child?

So many memories we never got to make.

I miss you. I love you. I want you.

Forever yours,

Katy.   

Tears streamed down my face and my hand shook so much I could barely write. This was meant to be one of my coping methods that the doctors had suggested. There had been many suggestions, but this was the only one that made me feel remotely better. I used to think that whenever I wrote to him, Jack would somehow manage to read it. Now it just feels like a connection I still have with him, I’ve become almost dependant on writing these letters. I felt as if I didn’t write one at least once a month or so, I would start forgetting.

I could never forget. I must never forget.

I didn’t know what time it was. I’d jolted awake as my familiar nightmare came to an end and I knew I wouldn’t be going back to sleep soon. My fingers trembled as I slipped the letter into the envelope and put it into the filling cabinet across the room, which had three or four draws full of similar papers. I wiped away the tears and bit my lip hard enough to stop them from falling.

I felt pathetic. Almost four years on and I was like this nearly every night.

According to all the photographers, makeup artists, stylist and even my parents I was perfectly happy. I had a very successful modelling career, I had my own apartment above my parent’s club and I had more money in my bank account than most people see in their lifetime. Only Elly knew the truth. She was the only one that knew how much I still suffered.

The sudden buzzing of my phone indicating I had just received a new message seemed loud in the complete silence of the apartment. Despite the fact I lived just above the nightclub, the whole apartment was completely soundproof. I couldn’t hear any music, singing, yelling or even the cars driving by the on the roads outside that were still busy even at this time of the morning.

The screen of my iPhone lit up and I saw the message was from Elly.

Bringing a guy back to the apartment, can you go to your parents or just pretend you’re not there for me please? Love you! Xx

I smirked through my tears and quickly replied.

Oooo! Who is he? Sure, I’ll go to the club for a while. xx