[A Tower of God Fanfiction] [DISCONTINUED]

In Arms

Bam's P.O.V.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here, Bam."

I turn at the sound of the voice, it being gentle but stern yet all so familiar. There, Khun stood, back against the walls of the cave with arms crossed over his chest. Shyly, I scratch at my cheek. "Did I make it obvious somewhere?"

Khun shook his head and gave me a very small smile. The lighting of the area made his expression seem ominous and secretive. "I was thinking about coming here too. But it looks like you beat me to the punch," he laughs, walking over to my side. "So, what brings you here?" I looked over to see that he was heavily focused on the large crystal ahead of us, a barely noticeable glint in those azure eyes hiding more than what this cave could.

Before it became too awkward, I cleared my throat. "I thought this place was relaxing the first time I saw it. It's very pretty and the stalactites just barely hold the drops of water. I," I shook my head. I think he's heard enough of me fawning over unseen stars for a lifetime. "I like the colors..?"

"Yes, the colors are pretty." A moment passed and suddenly, he became more serious. "This place," he gestures around. "I feel that something is hiding here and whatever it is, I know it isn't good." Finally, his blue gaze met mine and he pursed his lips. "I know that you're more than capable of handling yourself, it's just that I get worried that you'll… But, I can't stop you. You have things to do, floors to rise, and...people to meet."

I nodded slowly, never taking my eyes off of his. "It has been a long adventure, hasn't it? We've done so much together and it was all so fun. And maybe dangerous sometimes. Reuniting, drifting, lost, rinse and repeat. It's kind of getting hard to keep track of all of it."

Those eyes blinked away, a confused sadness stirring in my chest. "Yeah, all that time and so many years past, it feels like I've lived so many lives. Most being with you, of course."

Sorrow and regret hung heavy on him, just like how the stalactites refusing to let go of their individual drops. Blue. Why was he so sad? It almost felt like when... "I promise." I took his hands into mine and gripped, not minding his surprised yelp, as I tried to show my assurance through what little action I could. "There will be times that I have to leave, but I'll always return! There is so much out there and we could be floors apart from each other, but there's not a day that goes by that I want to return to you— all of you guys." Silently, I bow my head, staring at our locked hands. "And I'm sorry that…that I can't be there sometimes, but you're all I have and I don't want you guys to get hurt because of me."

Silence filled the air. Khun gripped my hand in return then drew close. It took far too long to notice that I was in a warm embrace and even longer to notice we were both shaking. Not from the cold, no. Him here, me between his arms, was enough to keep us warm. I sigh into his shoulder and flutter my eyes shut.

His voice, soothing once more, bounced off the cave walls behind me as he spoke, "I understand." He lifted his hand but hesitated. "I'm sorry you felt that way. I really want what's best for you, Bam. For you, my feelings come last."

That threw me from my daze and I looked up to him curiously. "Your feelings?"

Fingers brush behind one of the soft ears on my head, accompanied by gentle, comforting scratches that almost melted me in the already warm hug. I guess I'll allow myself to be distracted. Khun hummed but said no more as he pulled me in tighter and hid his face in the crook of my neck, pausing his scratching.

"Khun?" I call, becoming more worried the longer the silence stretched out.

"Just another minute," he murmured, the vibration causing me to giggle faintly.

"Okay, just another minute and then we're going back."

He hummed tiredly again, his grip never ceasing.

We stood there, relishing the quiet and warmth this time. At that moment, it felt like the cave didn't exist, the crystal, the tower...

The invisible eyes.

"Okay," he pulls away, a smile bright on his face. "We can go now." Why was it that his emotions were so contagious? It couldn't have been that spell that connected pain, could it? I smiled with him regardless and even brighter his smile became. Oh, his tail was wagging.

Side by side, we exited the cave, nudging and pushing as we joked and laughed. Although I never understood what he meant by "his feelings", I at least understand that he has his reasons for hiding it from me, because I also hid things from him.

Every day, I want to be by your side. I want to be comforted by your hugs and feel safe again in our shared laughs. Every time I look into the blue of your eyes, I want to know what you hide and to share that pain or happiness with you.

But that is selfish and I am okay with what we are, right here and right now. I think...I've fallen. But to where, I wonder?

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As you guys have noticed, this story is nearing a halt as I am just barely hanging onto the bandwagon. If any of these stories stop for good, then that probably would mean that I've exited the fandom.

Some clarification on the story: For more than half of this, it has been completely for self-indulgence, resulting in pwp and confusing moments. And only after awhile later I started to implement plot to the story, this causing some things to clash with another sometimes. Does that clear up a couple things for you?

Anyways, sorry about my lack of motivation and response.

[05|22|20]