Are you happy? (GxG)

Starlight

Mel's POV

"What's that one...?" I murmured into the air. It was the night after graduation, Thalia and I were curled up next to each other on her back porch looking up at the stars. I pulled the duvet closer to my chest, shivering in the bitter air.

"That's not a star... Are you cold? Shall we go in?" I shook my head no, leaning closer into my girlfriend's embrace.

"I'm okay... what is it?" I asked looking up at the glimmering speck in the sky.

"That. Is Venus..." I smiled slightly.

"It's pretty..." My girlfriend chuckled beside me as another song began to play on her iPod which was placed beside us.

"Oh my god, I love this song..." She stood up, offering me her hand, "Dance with me, love?" I took it, grinning. I didn't know the song but from what I had heard already, it sounded beautiful. The slow beat of the drums echoed through the air, accompanied by a beautiful electric guitar.

Love is a wondering ride.

We swayed left and right, my eyes closed, head on the other girl's chest. 

"Hey... Melody...?" She whispered softly in my ear, sending comforting chills down my spine.

"Yea...?" I murmured back.

Light's paint us fluorescent...

"I got into Yale... They sent me a confirmation letter a week ago..." The other girl finished, causing me to smile... "We're going to be almost 100 miles away..."

"And...?" I said slowly, "We can do this, we can last this..."

"We can't." The other girl stepped away from me, placing her hands on my cheeks. I didn't understand. Why not? We loved each other, right? Long-distance would be hard, I knew that, but not impossible.

Mirrors and melodies fall to the ground...

"I can't do that to you, Mel, I'm sorry..." Suddenly, the world began to break down around me. Was she breaking up with me? No... no- I had depended on her for so long... She promised she wouldn't leave...

"You said... you promised..." I stammered, tears now threatening to pour out of my eye's. Maybe I was being dramatic... but at that one moment, it had felt as if my world was ending. Just a few words and it had all come crashing down.

"Listen to me... let me explain..." The other girl said, placing her hands on my neck, almost begging me to stay- to listen. But I was feeling so much emotion and had no place to let it out so it seemed that all of the anger, the pain, the worry exploded.

Close your eyes...

"Get off me!" I yelled, stepping back from her.

"Please, Mel... I love you, let me explain..." She said, desperately.

"No... I don't need it- I don't want it..." The tears are decorating my face, each string of water longer than the last, "I'm going..." I murmured, turning, but she grabbed my hand at the last minute. It was the kind of moment where, in a musical, someone would start singing and every problem would just be resolved in that one song. But as much as I wished it could be that easy- it wasn't. This was real- it was happening, right now and I didn't know what to do. 

"Babe, listen..." She began but I cut her off once again.

"Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that after what you just said!" I yelled in her face causing her to flinch slightly.

"Melody Parker..." She snapped. Seeing that she had my attention, the girl continued, "Long-distance relationships are hard and troubling. You are constantly worried about the other person and I don't want that for you. These next few years should be about school and you need to focus on that. Maybe one day we will meet again but I don't want this relationship to be dependant. I want you to be able to live your life without me... be independent and... happy. Because you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy Mel..." Thalia said, hastily, her eyes full of desperation.

"But I... I love you..." I murmured. I had understood what she had said but a part of me still despised that idea of a breakup.

"I'm not your only and you know that. You are my first as I was yours but we've still got to learn and develop and we have to do that apart. I love you. And I may never not. But, this part of our lives we have to do alone. I am and will forever be thankful for all the memories I have made with you. You've made this year incredible. You've helped me grow and learn. Now... we've got to do that for ourselves..." As she finished I broke down in her arms. Because I knew she was right. She's always right. We were still young- we had so much to learn. So many things to be and so many places to go to. 

She was my first but she will not be my last.

Lost in the memories.

Lost in the sound.

The soft vibrations of the drums began to fade as she held me. Held me for one of the last times ever. The last time before we parted. I mean, of course, we would spend the summer together but Thalia had gone for early admission, therefore, not as long as we may have wanted. From then on, however, we were alone. Part of me resented the idea and part of me was a little excited. I was scared though. I was definitely scared and I think that was the part that excited me.

The part that I hated was that I may never see the redhaired girl again. Now, I would have to be my most confident and responsible. Now my world was changing and I would have to adapt to it. Without Thalia. I did hope that I would see her again, however unlikely it did seem. The world seemed to be telling that this was the end of our story. The trees whispering amongst themselves that we would never meet again. I wasn't going to let that happen.

Because our story wasn't over and the universe or fate could tell us otherwise but I wouldn't care less. I don't believe in fate, I know that now. I think we take ourselves to the places we do. Fate may have a plan, but we have the ability to change it. To make our own paths and futures. What I do believe in, however, is soulmates. That one person out there is just perfect for you- just completes you. Sometimes you lose them, other times you haven't met them yet. And it's not written in fate to meet your soulmate. No... you have to force the universe to abide. Things won't just work out in the end. You have to make it. There's no point sitting around and waiting for fate to do the work because believe me, I did that and I was nowhere near happy.

So, the age-old question, Are you happy? It's not really a good question if you think about it... It should be more like, 'Could you be happy?' or 'Are you trying to be happy? or even 'Will you be happy?'. No one is happy all the time because happiness is the result of learning and learning is the result of pain. It's the people that don't know what to do with that pain that can't be happy. I didn't know what to do with it! Sometimes, I still don't. Other times, I just take it and I cherish it, I cherish the way it made me feel and I declare that I never want anyone else to feel this- ever. 

No, I'm not happy, not always. But I can be. I've learned how to be. I know that once I feel something hurtful or painful that I can always learn. Just as I had from this breakup and just as I have from a few others. Because, after all of this, we will be nothing but echoes in the wide space of the universe so let's make it count. Don't listen to fate. Listen to yourself, make your own path, learn how to be happy. You will never do it by laying in bed and wishing it over and over. You don't learn from hope. It's the hope that gives you the ability to get out of bed, face the day and say; I can do this.

We find people, we lose people. Just as we win some and lose some. But if they really mean the world to you, you learn, develop and find them again.

And it's you... that I found.

A/N

And that's the book... other than an epilogue which is coming soon... But don't worry, I have another idea for a book as well as need to finish my other one so there's always more to read if you want! I really do hope you have enjoyed! This is my first completed book ever so that's a journey and a half... Thank you so much for reading, stay safe and stay positive. I love you all xx