Caged Nightingale

part 5- saara.

Its a haze.
I seem to drift in and out of reality. One minute I'm being wheeled on a stretcher in the hospital, then someone is calling my name but i cant seem to focus. Angry shouting and voices arguing. Then there are urgent hushed tones discussing something. From the fog, Ali's face etched with concern and worry appears, his words lost, sounds like a rumbling echo.

And then I'm being moved again, lights come and go. I'm in a car. A face i dont recognise leans over the front passenger seat and reaches out to me. But i slip into the abyss again.
I dont know how long I sleep, but i see light seeping in from behind the shutters- it must be daytime. I begin to shift onto my side but my whole body protests. Sore and tender, the throbbing in my head doesn't help. I'm parched. I try to focus my attention on the fan rotating lazily above my head and the low humming of an air conditioner.

Trying to get my bearings, I turn my stiff neck to my left, a bed side table and lamp, a little further away a closed door and a huge gilded framed with a painting of a lake and mountains. To my right are windows with thick, heavy curtains falling to the ground. Another bed side table with a jug of water and glass, beside it a comfortable velvet lined chair, a dressing table against the wall with a mirror. At the bottom of my bed, there is another door, this one is open, must be a bathroom, i can see a mirror and the corner of a sink.

It's a comfortable room but not one I recognise. Slowly, slowly i try to roll onto my side before pushing myself into a sitting position. I gasp and groan as I feel my sides ache. I drag my feet from beneath the sheets, they feel like lead. I pull them to the edge of the bed and lower them to the floor using the material on my pajama bottoms. That's when I realise what I'm wearing: cotton, checked pajamas in pink and white. Who dressed me? it doesn't bare thinking about, but I do notice the scabs on my hands, the grazes of my forearms. I lift them up infront of me as if they belong to someone else and then push back the sleeves to reveal purple bruises on my fore arms.

The explosion.

I lean over for the glass of water but it is just out of reach and a sharp pain in my side stops me from moving. I am breathless and begin reaching again when i hear the door handle turn behind me.

'Oh! you're awake!" It's Ali. He moves quickly around the room and kneels on the floor infront of me, face full of concern and i notice there are dark shadows under his eyes. "How are you feeling?" he asks as he reaches for my arms and then stops when he sees the bruised skin, instead he reaches for my chin and turns my head from side to side. "Not too bad,- considering what's happened. .. . ."

I nod silently.

He sighs and then stands up and opens one of the curtains and instantly the light spills into the room hurting my eyes. I cover them with my forearm and turn away. "sorry" he says as he comes back towards me and draws up the chair. I motion to the water jug and he fills the glass and passes it to me.

He waits for me to take a few sips. His clothes are creased, he's supporting stubble and his hair is dishelved. He looks the way I feel. I smile. He must know what I'm thinking because he laughs and looks down at himself.

"You have no idea!" he says, but the laughter is gone and there is only concern on his face. It isn't the concern you get when you've had a near death experience. It's a look you get when you realise you're not quite out of the woods yet. Just looking at him, I realise there is something bad coming. something he doesn't want to tell me but needs to. There are frown lines on his forehead and he is fidgetting, not meeting my eyes. then he does the one thing that confirms my suspicions: he begins to bite one of the nails on his hands. It's a nervous tick he's had ever since we were young. I give him a sidesways glance and then look away.

We sit in silence for a few moments. I wait. Giving him time to think, I don't want him to lie to me. That's what people do. 'Just tell me!' I whisper.