Caged Nightingale

17- Atif

She's asleep in the lounge when i arrive. Its late: 1am. Curled up on one of the sofas. I stand back and look at her lying there with her arms and legs sprawled out- to let the henna dry. It has.
I smile. Her hair is tousled and her cheeks are flushed from sleep.
"You're here!" She says lazily as i touch her shoulder to wake her. She's limp and can barely open her eyes as i lift her easily up into my arms.
"Lets get you to bed!" I say and carry her out of into the corridor. Mohsin is waiting in the hallway, and moves forward as if to take her from me but i just shake my head and continue to carry her up the stairs. Her arms are around my shoulders and her head on my chest.
Gently i deposit her onto the bed, where she immediately curls up again. She looks so young. I smile as i pull her hand away from her face to avoid the inevitable henna stain, should she fall asleep on it. She snuggles closer until she's lying in the crook of my arm, then she turns over resting her head on it and i can't help but spoon her.
'It was a good day' she whispers before she drifts off to sleep.
Something in my chest seems to implode. Pride or maybe satisfaction. It feels so novel. We fit together so perfectly. I listen to her breathing and the sound of the small noises she makes, as she shifts to burrow herself further in the crook of my arm. Her hair smells like almonds, it is warm and sweet. I kiss her temple and she turns her head into the kiss before settling again.
Its been a terrible week. Long and drawn own. I suffered smartingly from the absence of her banter. Food is tasteless, numbers merge on the page, my mind wanders in meetings. Even my patience is wearing thin. By friday i am nothing short of a liability to be around. Everyone in the office is walking on egg shells and keeping their head down and staying out of the line of fire. There is a huge storm cloud over my head. The trainee is in tears by mid afternoon, when i look like im going to rip her head off because she's failed to complete a simple instruction, which i barked out earlier in the morning. The atmosphere at work is tense. so it is with much relief when i leave the building in the evening from a side door an hour after Hassan leaves with my car as a decoy.
The closer i get to her the more calm i feel. The tension seems to ease off my shoulders and seeing her makes me feel like i can finally breath.

Watching her on my phone, its strangely reassuring. I see her lounging in the library, sulking, then the excitement as she follows Amina out.  She needs company, I realise. She may well come across as a solitary type, comfortable in her own company, but you can't deny the way her whole body changes or the way her eyes light up when she goes out to meet the women. Perhaps, I've overlooked a simple fact. She needs to be around other people. Don't we all?

There are simply no words to describe the relief of being here. Seeing her, lying with her, holding her. It feels like home.
i know then with absolute certainty i can never let her go.