Newt x Reader (Younger) Stay With Me Book: 1

Chapter 20

I responded to Thomas first.

"Yeah I should be, you can go back to the maze."

I then went to Newt.

"Hey what's up Newt?"

"Are you okay? It felt like you were crying."-Newt

"I suppose I can't keep a secret from you."

"I'm sorry, it's just ever since when you first contacted me I always knew when you were sad."-Newt

"Don't worry. I just got frustrated."

"Do...do you want to see me?"-Newt

He sounded nervous when he said that, it made me smile as he sounded so cute.

"Yeah, do you want to go to my room, I don't want to see many people at the moment."

"Of course. I'll be there as quickly as I can."-Newt

When I and Newt stopped talking I took a couple of breaths and wiped my tears before I went to my room. I decided to recontact Thomas.

"Thomas, sorry about that, I just got frustrated."

"Don't worry sis, I get that way sometimes. I try not to cry when I do though."-Thomas

He was obviously trying to make a joke and it caused me to crack a smile. I sat on Thomas's bed and waited.

"What am I even going to say?"

I was hoping my voice would answer my question as I said it to myself. I had no idea what I should tell Newt. There was so much I wanted to say but nothing I could say without something bad happening to us. I could always talk to him in the bathroom, although that would be suspicious. I suppose I could talk hypothetically. Hopefully, the words will just come out.

I start to think about how not too long from now Newt, Minho, and Alby will not know who I even am. The tears started to come back. I then remember how at this rate I won't be able to save them, and that they will be stuck in that maze with Grievers. I couldn't bear to let Newt and them go. If I can't save them then I am going to cry all day.

"Y/n?"-Newt

"Newt!"

I quickly got up and took him into my embrace. The tears wouldn't stop as my mind continued to wander. I won't be able to hold him in my arms, I wouldn't be able to feel safe ever again. I couldn't be the same without him. He smelled great and his aroma always made me feel so much calmer, everything about him made me calm. I'm addicted to him, I love him too much.

"I love you Newt. I love you so much that I can't let you go."

Newt tightly grasped onto me in response to my words. He wasn't planning on letting me go either. I think I got him worried as well.

"I love you too much that I can't live without you."

The tears were pouring and words were just spewing out of my mouth, I had no idea what I would say, I had too many emotions coursing through me at the moment.

"I love you so much that I cry when I think about you being gone. It hurts so much Newt, I don't want to let you go."

At this moment I know my words had reached Newt as he started to cry as well.

"Don't leave me either, I love you so much."-Newt

Newts grasp on me tightened.

"Please don't leave me, I can't be happy without you."-Newt

Newt's tight grip got tighter as we slowly let our legs give out and fell to the floor.

"I don't care what happens, I'm always going to love you."-Newt

It hurts so much, why does WICKED hate me? Why can't Newt be immune like me? I want him to stay, he needs to stay with me. I don't know what I would do without him. What do they even need me for? Why do I have to suffer? Knowledge is pain, love isn't pain, love is beautiful.

I lean my head on Newt's shoulder as my arms fall to my side. Newt continues to tightly hold onto me, his tears seemed to stop as well as mine. I spoke first knowing that I needed to say something.

"What if there is a time when I won't be able to see you any longer?"

"What do you mean?"-Newt

"What if one of us disappeared? What if WICKED took away one of us?"

"Why would WICKED do that, are they that cruel to take you away from me, or me away from you?"-Newt

"Yes," I whispered so quietly that only he would be able to hear. "I don't know, why would they want to tear us apart?"

Newt was silent and he finally understood what was happening. Everything was made clear to him, and the tears started to come back. He probably had the same thoughts as I did. He pulled me so close to him that there was no space between us. Today was possibly one of the worst days of my life. My time with Newt is quickly getting smaller by the day. We both knew that now.

When we both were completely calm he pulled me to face right in front of him. He stared at me and I stared at him. I wanted to remember everything about him. Newt won't remember me but I will remember him. They won't be able to take that away from me. I won't let them.

We filled the gap between us and gave a long-needed kiss. It was the saddest kiss I've ever had, but it also was the most needed. We would have never left each other's side if it wasn't for the fact that he needed his daily examination and a Doctor came to get him. When he left the emptiness was bitter, it felt like a bite to my heart, a look into the future. Was this how it will be? If I can't save us will life be as miserable as it is now?

WICKED is bad.