𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝙸𝙳𝚂𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝙳
Who would have thought that the future of the world could consist of a deadly virus potentially wiping out the entire human race?
At least that's what everyone's told and what Millie and her group thinks...
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It was scary to say, even if it was being said in my own head. It scared me to have others say it out loud too. To say that we were free. Finally. Saying it out loud made it real. All of it just meant that trouble would come next. Just like a rollercoaster; you go up only to go spiralling down.
However, it never really feels like being free at all even when we were. It still felt like a prison. Life has you running from one thing to the next. The feeling of numbness slowly taking up almost all the space in your chest. In your heart.
All that numbness; somehow shit still allows you to get hurt. That's how life works from what I've learned these last few months. Out of the Bunker. Out of the sight of Xavier and JR, yet still not free.
Life gives you the best; the moments and the people. Only for it to be taken away. You don't know what to do and it's not within your reach anymore to fix it. It's not within your reach to go back to everything that once was.
What am I even saying? It's never within our reach. Though, I want it to be.
And maybe I've said this before. Thought about it way more than I want, yearning to get rid of it all, especially my mind.
Insanity among the sane.
I could care less to take care of the insanity building inside me. More and more every day.
I want to be able to solve the problems of people I love so that they never get to or have to feel any type of pain. I want to be able to make them immortal so they could stay forever and that life couldn't dare touch them.
It's not within my reach though, it never is or was. Not even for myself. It has never been what I wanted. Ever. That's just my life. Sometimes, the mind-controlled more than it needed and I couldn't stop it. I tried.
You can want something the way you want it to be but at the end of the day- what you want sometimes doesn't matter and things just happen.
Usually, my wants are impossible to reach. That's why looking up at the sky, at the stars may feel as if nothing else exists for a while. Because sometimes I wish I was in space, or that staring up at the stars was all life consisted of and all we had to do to live. All that we needed and was enough to make us happy.
