Resist Me Not

43

For the rest of the afternoon, Ryan and I just enjoyed each other's company. We didn't even have sex. But we did continue to make out in between our conversations. Everything with him felt right.

When it was finally time to head back to my apartment to confront Eric, Ryan insisted on coming with me. He did not want me to talk to Eric alone. I told him it may make matters worse if he was there. We compromised and agreed that he'd hang out on the terrace of my building while I talked to Eric.

Ryan held my hand the entire trip home. At first, it was out of love, then it was more out of being his emotional support because I insisted on taking the subway. He didn't fight me on it and referred to the subway as his Hell. He was determined to live up to his proclamation he made to me on the voice message. It was cute how tight he held my hand when a few guys who were wasted and singing off-key, sat across from us, just minding their own business.

When we entered my building, John, the security guard, was just walking in to take his shift. Walking next to Ryan, he looked confused. "Did you do something to your hair, sir? You look different."

I laughed, knowing he was mixing him and Adam up.

"No, though, I suppose I should get it cut soon. It's getting a little unruly." He tousled his hair and grinned.

"John, this is Ryan," I gestured an open palm to him. "You met Adam last night. That's his brother."

John nodded, realizing his mistake. "Well, I feel like a fool."

Ryan and I chuckled lightly together. "No need," Ryan assured. "My own mother can't always tell us apart."

"Well, then, I feel better." John smiled kindly and took his place behind the lobby counter. "You two have a good evening."

"Actually, John," I paused at the desk as Ryan continued onward to call the elevator. "Eric will be stopping by this evening. Will you call me first before you let him up?"

John looked quizzically for a moment but then nodded. "As you wish."

I thanked him and got into the elevator.

Ryan and I hung out in my apartment for close to forty-five minutes, practicing what I should say to Eric, before John buzzed, informing me he was here. I told him to allow Eric up, at which point, Ryan gave me a quick, but loving kiss, before leaving and heading for the stairwell to go up to the terrace. He told me to meet him up there when it was all over or text him if I needed backup.

I paced the living room, waiting anxiously. I switched the TV on and sat on the couch, trying to relax for a second. Then the door knocked. It was time. Standing up I took as many deep breaths as I could as I approached to answer the door.

Eric's smile greeted me, which killed me to see, as I knew that was probably the last time I would see him happy. He entered and leaned in to kiss me, but I turned slightly so it would land just shy of my lips. Thankfully, he didn't seem to think it was odd and made his way in.

He placed his briefcase on the dining table and walked over to sit on the couch. I went into the kitchen and grabbed him a bottle of beer and a wine cooler for myself. It was part of our usual end of day routine when we were in my apartment. I handed him his drink and sat in my armchair, still trying to figure out how to start the conversation.

"Thank you. Do you mind if I change the channel? The Knicks game is on tonight." He picked up the remote and glanced at me.

"Sure," I croaked.

He switched the channel, and sat back against the couch, taking a swig of his beer. "So how'd your day go? Did your alone time help you figure out what you want to do next? Do you need help finding another job? I could talk to my parents and have them talk to their connections."