I Need To Know....

-17- Love

Our new house was so spacious. I hugged my little sister Meg so long because I have missed her.

"Dassah you look so different now." Meg said touching my hair.

"Oh, if it's about the hair, well I have not been going to school for some time now, so I have to make this kind of hair. I told her smiling.

No matter how I tried to fit in, our house wasn't home to me as before. Maybe it's because I have no memories in the new house.

My parents were too excited about the baby that all they talk about is;

Oh the baby moved
He smiled
He is trying to say something girls listen....

I tried not to be a joy killer, so I always smiled back.

My grandma came too to see the child. They told her everything that had happened to me and she was so upset with my parents that she made them realize their mistakes.

Staying in the room for the rest of the week seem like ages. I have to go back to Lifecamp, I belong there and I missed our daily lives there too.

Updating my blog and social media kept me busy because even Meg joined my parents in taking care of Nathan. I wish I could feel what they are feeling but I couldn't.

My grandma came to me with the baby one afternoon when my parents had gone to work and Meg to school. She smiled at me and looked at the child.

"Hadassah dear, God gave you the greatest gift of motherhood please don't reject him."

I became uncomfortable and still.

"Look at this beauty and tell me what God did wrong?"

I jerked and moved aside.

"He is so innocent, he did nothing wrong. If you don't like what his father did to you, then you have to make sure he doesn't turn out like that monster."

She kept saying calming.

"What did the Bible say about training up a child? Huh? I'm aware that a good Christian woman helped you, so you know your Bible well now."

"Grandma...."

"Grandma nothing dear." She cuts in.

"This child will be what you want him to be with the help of God. Pray for him, don't curse his father for his sake."

"Grandma, if only you knew what I went through."

"Your parents took part in your suffering, didn't you forgive them? This is your flesh and blood Hadassah. See, see, he is smiling at you. He knows your voice from the womb. Give him a chance and your love."

She brought the baby to me and put him in my arms. His smile was so beautiful. My second time of holding him in my hands. My grandmother stood up sharply and left my home to tend to something in the kitchen.

"Gran......."

"It's just for a minute, he won't bite Hadassah." She slammed the door.

Looking at the gift from God, I found myself praying for the child, declaring and prophesying  good things. It was the first time I spoke in tongues, by the time I finished praying and opened my eyes I saw my grandmother kneeling beside my bed praying too. I started worshipping and crying and then felt peaceful.

After that week, I stayed for another week and didn't want to part from my son again. The plans to spend the weekend at home changed, I spent the weekdays with my parents and the weekend with Ms. Johnson.