I Need To Know....

-20- I know who I am

My name is Hadassah Obi, 22 years old. I am from Enungu state in the eastern part of Nigeria. I have come to love Christ as my personal Lord and savior. Everything in me is new and all formal things are gone.

I went through rape, rejections, mockery, trauma, and abuse. But the Lord sent me his earthly angel in a human form. She took me as her own flesh and blood and saw me through everything. She showed me the way to Christ.

Today, a lot of survivors are looking up to me. All they need is somebody to understand and listen to them. I opened the doors of my heart to them through my blog. I also encouraged them to speak out and get help before the devil will rub them of their destinies.

I have forgiven Owen for what he did to me. I always pray for his mother to recover from her mental illness.

Ojo my best friend was broken with the death of her father. She was happy when I called her. We became closed again and I encouraged her to put all her burden in Christ. She comes to stay with us now and then because my mom had always loved her.

Mrs. Jeffrey told me of Owen's decisions to stay away from me and my family. He also told her of his awareness of Nathan's existence and also promised to stay away from his life.

My graduation ceremony was joyful. All my family members and friends were in attendance except for Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey. They traveled weeks ago to the UK. Ojo was in tears when she saw my family, I noticed and went to her.

"Girlfriend, what's wrong?" I sat close to her.

"Dassah, I missed my family so much. But what can I say right? God knows the best. At least something good came out of it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Owen, he became pastor Elijah."

We both laughed and joined the others still laughing.

"Good to see you two laughing like that"

My mom said pointing with a bottle of sprite.

"Mom, we've been like this ever since junior class."

I said holding her tightly.

We took a lot of selfies and group photos with Nathan taking all the spaces.

Mrs. Jeffrey's video called and joined the after-party at home. She had asked me to choose the final course before my last exams if I would go for criminal psychology or educational psychology. But I went for educational psychology.

I wanted so much to be like her, she was so classy and smart. From the first time I saw her, I knew what I wanted, to be like her. I pray that God will give me her wisdom and excellent spirit like Daniel in the Bible.

***

Going through my post letter for NYSC (National Youth Service Corp). I am going to miss my son so much. I have never been away from him for more than two weeks. But now I will be gone for months because my state of posting is in Kano state. I will be learning about a new culture and maybe learn to speak Hausa language before I complete my service year.

I watched my mom packing everything in my bag as if she was sending me off to my husband's house.

"Mom, stop for a minute, and look at me."

She tried to hide her tears but I saw them.

"Hadassah, are you sure you can survive there by yourself?"

"Mom, mom, listen."

I led her to the reception seat at the back of our house.

"Mom, I will be fine. See, I stayed in university and nothing happened to me..."

"University was different Dassah" she cuts in.

"Mummy, other graduates will be there too. We are only going to serve our country for a year, that's how I will gain my work experience.

Okay, mom, see, I am a child of God. My father owns the universe, so I'm free to go anyway and trust Him."

"That's right, I have put your Bible and rosary in your bag. Even if you have changed your church please pray the rosary always okay."

"Okay, mom."

"What's going on here?"

My dad said from the back door.

We all fixed our gaze at him standing with one arm on the doorknob and the other in his pocket.

"She is a strong woman my dear, she had survived everything what else could stand on her way. Besides, she has Christ. Now go in and prepare for your tomorrow's trip.

My dad swept his hands for me to walk pass him. I did and left them to comfort themselves.

Kissing my Bible after reading the wisdom of the day from Proverbs 1, I agreed with wisdom calling. I prayed for the Lord's wisdom because it is very important for the new phase of my life.

I left as early as 6 am, I stroked my son's hair and kissed his forehead. I prayed and blessed him. My dad insisted on taking me to the park but I refused.

I felt so lonely for the first time. Not even when my parents abandoned me at Owen's house did I feel so lonely. I tried to distract myself by reading a novel but it didn't work.

My blog worked the magic when I logged in and read the newest post from a survival who finally took the step to speak up. We all encouraged her and gave her advice.

A lady next to my seat won't stop talking about everything. Her long braids were all I was looking at as she spoke, she reminded me of Ojo.

Ojo was posted to Pleatue state. We both chose the federal capital but got different states instead. We kept calling and texting each other throughout the journey. I told her about the road, the weather and the talkative beside me.

We got to Kano around 5 pm, there were a lot of us at the camp. After some weeks of training, we were posted to our various posts. I was posted to a public school in which I will be resuming on Monday. I am so ready to learn and practice all that I have learned.

I am so happy to share my story with the world. It is my desire to see that women will be given a voice in Africa and raped cases be seen as a crime.

We have a lot of questions to ask our parents and the adults around us. But how can we do that when all they see is our body parts. I need to know if the girl child can still feel safe even in her home. Our parents have to trust us and be more involving in our lives.

If you have been taken advantage of like me, speak out and don't keep it to yourself. Owen walked free, wrote his final exams, and proceed to the higher institution while I waited for one year before going back to school. You know my story.

Help someone, support someone, and stop the abuse.

My name is Hadassah, a Hebrew name for Esther which means a STAR. My parents didn't know this, but my name was given with a purpose. So like Hadassah in the Bible, I will do my best for the rape survivals around me directly and all over the world through my blog.

I am discovering more cases here in Kano state, it's so bad that a 10-year-old girl was raped and will soon have her baby.

Watch out for my findings after my youth service.

God bless you.

***

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