obsession • baeksoo

pt. 36

kyungsoo was drawing a blank as he stared at his laptop and it didn't help that baekhyun hadn't given him any information about his family and expected him to help him find them.

"baekhyun," kyungsoo let out a deep sigh as he looked over to the male seated on his bed, "i can't exactly do anything with the fact that you grew up in bucheon."

baekhyun only hummed in response, picking up another piece of freshly cut fruit that kyungsoo's mother brought to them. she seemed to be enjoying his company at lot.

meeting kyungsoo's father wasn't as bad as he'd expected it to be. it was just a firm shake of hands and a quickly smile and that was it. there was no hug and baekhyun was relieved by that.

he popped the piece of fruit in his mouth, putting the plate off his lap and on the bed as he stood up, making his way over to the small male that was seated on the desk with the computer on it.

his chest was to kyungsoo's back as he leaned over from behind him, his hand reaching for the computer mouse, his other hand on the other side of the male reaching out to the keyboard. "let's see."

he stopped typing mid-way through at the silence from the small male below him, "are you liking that i'm this close to you?" baekhyun teased with a grin, his eyes trailing down to kyungsoo.

"no," the deep voice curtly replied, "you're chewing right by my ear."

baekhyun eventually swallowed the food in his mouth. he clicked his tongue, "excuses." he mumbled.

he brought his fingers back to the keyboard again and with a few clicks they were both looking at a picture of an apartment building. it was run-down looking, graffiti littering the walls and some apartments were abandoned without any doors and smashed windows.

baekhyun pointed to the apartment door at the end of the third floor, "there."

just the sight of the outside of the apartment made baekhyun fidget, an uncomfortable feeling at the back of his throat but he tried to play it off with kyungsoo right in front of him.

"alright," kyungsoo sighed, turning on his seat to face the male that had returned back to the bed, "we'll go there tomorrow?"

"what?" baekhyun looked back, clenching his jaw as he stared at kyungsoo's expression. he couldn't tell if he was joking right now. a part of him wasn't ready to just go back to the place he stayed in when he was younger, just the sight of the run down apartment left him uncomfortable. "that's so soon."

"well, you want to find your family, don't you?" kyungsoo rose a brow, watching as baekhyun looked down.

baekhyun twirled his thumbs, he did want to find his family but the reality of this actually happening was slowly hitting him. a part of him wasn't so sure now, was this really a good idea? he didn't know why he blurted out those words last night, he was slightly envious of the suburban house kyungsoo got to grow up in as well as have parents who cared for him. a part of him hoped maybe he could get that if he tried hard enough.

"yeah," baekhyun eventually nodded as he looked back up at the male across from him, "of course i do."

kyungsoo pursed his lips as he looked over baekhyun's tense nature, "we don't have to if you don't want to."

baekhyun's brows furrowed, he thought kyungsoo wouldn't notice that he was a little unsure about this but he still continued to push it aside, "i'm fine, i want to go."

"okay." kyungsoo sighed, eventually standing up from the desk chair and sitting beside baekhyun on the bed. his movements were still a little cautious around baekhyun and he felt as though the male beside him was like that as well.

"can you maybe tell me a little more about your childhood?" kyungsoo spoke up quietly, his head slowly trailing over to baekhyun but the male was too busy staring at his hands again.

it took a while for baekhyun to get an answer to leave his lips, "i wasn't always in that apartment, i got took to a home for kids so i don't know if they'll be there anymore."

this was the first time kyungsoo was hearing about baekhyun living in an orphanage, "you never know, they might be." he tried his best to keep his tone of voice hopeful.

"what will i even say if they're there?" baekhyun's brown eyes met kyungsoo's, his heart yearning for some advice.

kyungsoo honestly didn't know. he didn't know what baekhyun should do. "say hi."

baekhyun snorted at the blunt reply from kyungsoo, he shook his head with a small smile, "of course i'm going to say hi."

kyungsoo couldn't help his own lips from curling. he liked moments like this with baekhyun, when the male wasn't forcing things between them or he wasn't angry or overwhelmed. he felt like he was actually getting to know the real baekhyun, getting to understand him and his own troubles, his own parts that made him vulnerable and sad.

"i'm sure you'll know what to say when we get there," kyungsoo spoke up from the small silence between them, "you always know what to say."

"sometimes i don't," baekhyun replied as he looked down at his hands again, "sometimes i just say some stupid shit and mess things up. i don't want to mess things up with them."

kyungsoo froze slightly at those words. a small puzzle piece clicking together. baekhyun was afraid of messing things up? like what? kyungsoo's mind wandered back to the obsessions, maybe baekhyun had said some things that cut things off with them.

kyungsoo's mind also trailed back to christmas. baekhyun had messed things up then, when the secret about jongin blurted out of his mouth in the spur of the moment. maybe that's what baekhyun meant about messing things up.

"then, you can try again." kyungsoo spoke up hopefully, his eyes trailing on the male beside him who still wasn't looking at him. his hand eventually reached out for baekhyun's, although he still kept his distance from him on the bed, it felt sort of nice to hold his hand.

baekhyun looked down at kyungsoo's hand holding his, the male's thumb gently brushing over his skin. "okay."

he didn't know if he could try again with something like this, something like meeting his family after years apart. but kyungsoo's words always reassured him, they always kept him hopeful and right now he needed it because the worries he once felt were quickly washed away with the comforting touch of kyungsoo.

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a/n: thank u all sm for 10k reads!! :O that's so crazy for a small writer like me, it means so much that you're enjoying this story! <3