obsession • baeksoo

pt. 38

kyungsoo's eyes widened at the text message on his phone, "oh my god." he mumbled.

he quickly made his way up the stairs to his bedroom, flinging the door opening. a deep sigh soon left his lips at the sight of the male who hadn't moved from this morning.

"baekhyun!" kyungsoo called out, his phone still tight in his grasp. he rolled his eyes as baekhyun merely groaned in response, not waking up like he'd hoped he would.

he let out a huff as he made his way over, hitting his shoulder and shoving him, the male groaning in response. kyungsoo eventually managed to get a groggy response from him, "what?"

"i've literally shouted on you for this long all you say is what?" kyungsoo let out a deep sigh as he plonked himself down on his bed just beside where baekhyun was laying.

"what is it?" baekhyun questioned again, his voice thick with sleep. it didn't help when kyungsoo shoved his phone screen in his face. he squinted his eyes at the blaring light, trying his best to focus on what kyungsoo was showing him.

he managed to make out what was on the screen. he took the device from kyungsoo, surprised the male let him take it from him. it was a couple text messages, baekhyun eventually figuring out who it was from the contact name, 'irene'.

his eyes slowly fell on the last text message from her, it was an address. and baekhyun knew fine well what this meant now.

he couldn't understand why his heart slowly sunk at that.

this is what he wanted, right?

he looked up from the phone, eventually handing it back to the male beside him, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he began to process everything.

this could be it. he felt as thought he'd gotten lucky last time that his mother was no longer there but now they knew where she was now.

he had no idea how he was going to handle this, he could barely cope with any little mention or reminder from his childhood. how was he supposed to handle meeting his mother after all these years?

he knew his father wouldn't be there, and he was still only processing the news about what had happened to him. it made sense, it was like a puzzle piece had clicked together. his father was dead and he was still letting it sink in. it was almost as if he was mourning, he didn't know why, when he hadn't seen the man in years. it just made him feel more alone than before.

"so, we'll go tomorrow?" kyungsoo spoke up from the silence from baekhyun, a little alarmed that he hadn't uttered a single word, he was just staring at the ceiling.

kyungsoo couldn't stop the small frown from forming on his face. the sight of baekhyun right now pitied him, he'd noticed a shift in him, ever since the topic of family had been brought up and until now. the male was too distant and quiet now, especially after visiting the apartment complex a couple days ago.

"we don't have to go." kyungsoo eventually spoke up again.

baekhyun let out a deep sigh, bringing his hand to his face as he rubbed his eyes, thinking on what he should say.

he slowly sat up so he was face to face with the male across from him on the bed. "kyungsoo, i—" he didn't know where to start, "i don't know about this."

baekhyun looked down at his hands as he thought on what he should say right now. he didn't want to look weak in front of the male, he didn't want kyungsoo to know his vulnerable spots but he couldn't stop himself from letting some of it out.

"maybe i'm exaggerating, i just—" he let out a huff, "i don't think i'm ready." there was a small silence before baekhyun quietly spoke up, "do you think i should go?" he slowly looked up at kyungsoo, his heart melting at how concentrated the male in front of him was, his brown eyes full of concern just for him.

"maybe. i don't know..." kyungsoo sighed deeply in response, "what made you say you wanted to find them before?" kyungsoo slowly questioned, trying his best to answer baekhyun's sudden question but he genuinely didn't know the answer to it.

baekhyun shrugged gently, he didn't want to make kyungsoo feel guilty. he didn't want to compare them, but what kyungsoo had was everything baekhyun had wanted growing up, even now.

just to know that no matter what someone would love him, someone like a parent. that no matter through each break up, he'd still have someone to go back to.

"just how different it is here." he quietly replied, "i've always wanted that. i thought maybe it would be like this if i found them."

kyungsoo frowned at that, just those words were enough to hurt his heart. he reached out for the male, entwining their hands together, "maybe it will be like that when you find her, maybe she's changed." kyungsoo mumbled, trying to stay hopeful for baekhyun, "you never know until you go."

baekhyun only hummed in response as he looked down at their joined hands. kyungsoo was right, he would only know if he could get that if he went and deep down he felt as though it'd be worth it to know.

"why are you being so nice to me?" baekhyun asked, "after everything i've done to you." he slowly looked back up at kyungsoo's face.

kyungsoo let out a sigh at the question, he didn't know why he currently was letting baekhyun stay at his parents house with him, why he was even helping him find his family. "i don't know, i just want to help you."

baekhyun didn't know why he let out a chuckle at that. it was strange to hear. that someone willingly wanted to help him.

"maybe for jongin too." kyungsoo spoke up again, "so you don't do it to someone else."

baekhyun looked away at that, remembering the male he killed all the time ago. he never actually knew him, never gave himself the chance to after he so suddenly decided to get rid of him. maybe there could of been another way to make kyungsoo his, he wasn't so sure anymore. a part of him wondered if it was even worth killing jongin.

he also couldn't understand why he was regretting it right now, it wasn't like he felt like that when he was with kyungsoo. maybe it was because they weren't official anymore, or maybe it was just that kyungsoo was here beside him right now; reminding him about the atrocious thing he did. he wasn't sure.

he knew for certain that he didn't think he'd ever feel guilty of something like that. especially when after it got him something that made him so happy.

but that thing was gone now.

kyungsoo was just merely helping him find his family, it wasn't like they were dating anymore and baekhyun hated that.

he wished he could apologise, apologise for everything, especially jongin but he couldn't. all he could do was let out a small sigh as kyungsoo soon stood up, going downstairs because he didn't need to be there anymore. he'd told the news about his mothers address and that's all he needed to say to baekhyun.

it just indicated the male more that kyungsoo was only with him because he was helping him find his family; they weren't really together.

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a/n 

okay, so i didn't delete this account, i made sure to take extra caution and change my account details and such! i just couldn't say goodbye to my stories and as well as stop this story! so sorry for the wait on here, the date breach left me quite upset and unmotivated but i've decided that i'll give wattpad another shot to not keep you guys waiting! <3