Lonely (a falsettos college AU)

Choose

If you had to choose if you had to choose
It's a tie
If you had to choose if you had to choose
It's up to the delegates
If you had to choose if you had to choose
It's up to Hamilton

Yo

Marvin walked in on Whizzer and Trina, Laying in bed and crying together. It was not exactly what he pictured and for some reason he felt extremely nervous seeing the two together. But he brushed it off instead picturing a threesome, he was down.

Trina, got up quickly and left, kissing Whizzer on the cheek and ignoring Marvin entirely.

"What was that about?"
"Nothing."

Over the next couple of days Marvin hardly saw Whizzer, only seeing him leave their room early if he woke him, or coming back late at night. Sometimes he would try and hug Whizzer, going up behind him as he stood by the mirror, putting his chin on his shoulder, and wrapping his arms around his abdomen. Kissing his cheek or nibbling on his ear. But whizzer would shove him off, saying he was late to class.

Which was a lie and Marvin knew it.

So as Whizzer climbed the stairs of the lecture theatre to the spot next to him in maths, he decided to confront him.

"Hi."

Silence

"Fine. What the fuck is going on with you?"

Class started around them, but they seemed to be in their own little bubble, ignoring everything else but each other.

"Trina confided in me, she said she thought you were cheating on her."
"What did you say."

He was calm and it infuriated Whizzer.

"I said to talk to you about it, I am not covering for you."
"Why not-" Marvin hissed "- if I tell her it's mutually assured destruction, you'll go down with me."

Whizzer turned to him, anger blazing in his eyes.

"You really think that is what I care about? You're clueless!"
"Enlighten me then!"

"I haven't slept in over a week. Every-time I see her I feel sick, I have headaches, then I throw up." Whizzer listed

"I don't get it."

"It's guilt. Why am I the one feeling fucking guilty, you lie to her face, I don't. You tell her that you love her and she's the only one, but you cheat on her because you want to, you lie to her because you can. The only reason you'll ever be sorry is because you were caught, so you need to do something. Me or her, you have to choose."

And then he got up, even though it was the middle of class, whispered something in the teachers ear and left, staring at Marvin as he did so.

And Marvin did not know what to do. He had to choose between what he wanted and what he aspired to want, every choice closes an infinite number of doors, and Marvin knew that.

If he chose Trina, he could live normally, his parents would probably not disown him, they would live comfortably money wise. That is if they made it through college as a couple. They could have children, get married she could stay at home, look after the kid while he worked at a law firm. Leading a content life. Maybe too content and killing himself out of boredom later on in life like so many men them do.

But then he thought of Whizzer, the way his heart hurt in a good way when he was around, the way he loved every little thing Whizzer did, like how he would tap his leg when he was anxious, or how because he was tall, he would naturally stoop all the time to go through doorways. How he loved Whizzer not in spite of his flaws, but because of them.

"Fuck no!"
"Mr Feldman, what exclamation was that?"
"I'm sorry Ma'am"

Marvin looked incredibly sheepish realising that he had said it out loud.

"Why don't you come to the front and explain to the class why you interrupted me."
"I'm good"
"Come on now, no need to be shy."
"Really, I'd rather not"
"Mr Feldman, front now, unless you want to fail my class"

He sighed at the unfair nature of her decision and slowly walked down the lecture theatre too the front, looking at the classes laughing faces.

"Umm, is it alright as I use this time as a forum?"
"Sure thing."

"Okay-" Marvin took a deep breath, going over what he was about to say"- so I'm dating someone, she's beautiful, sweet, talented and she's kind. You don't often find kind people. But before before term started and before I met her, I met this other person, and h... they are the most incredible person I've ever met. So I've been cheating on my girlfriend with hi...her."

A murmur echoed and rippled through the class and Marvin looked ashamed.

" I think I'm in love with him."
"Him?"
"Fuck. I think I'm gay. I also think that I just came out to a whole class of people I have literally never talked to in my life. Well umm, he feels so guilty that we've been sleeping together, and so he told me to choose him or her, I just don't know."

The teacher turned to Marvin, and in a sweet, genuine tone said.

"You've got to follow your heart. I know it sounds cliche, but who makes you happiest, who challenges you when you're around them, when you see they've texted you, will you text them back no matter where you are? Would you be able to talk them down from a ledge just by telling them the truth?"

"I think so."

"Then choose them."

And so he ran out of the classroom, leaving his bag in his seat, running harder than ever before and faster than he liked. His legs turned to jelly yet he continued, he needed to tell them how he felt.

It only took him a few minutes to reach the door, he had not composed what he was gonna say, he was just going to say what he felt.

So he knocked on the door.