Lonely (a falsettos college AU)

Epilogue

Marvin sat at his desk working on his latest case for work. He opened the case file and began to highlight it, looking for various details that may prove useful later on. He quickly sat back furrowing his brow as the details formed a larger picture. He had been assigned a probono case from his firm, an unusual occasion, but this one hit slightly too close for comfort.

A man found dead in his boyfriend's house.

His brain honed in on the vivid image of Whizzer, wearing all white, a halo above his head falling from the heavens and grabbed onto it with a vice grip, refusing to let go of it. The Television played in the background the cold blue light contrasting the warm dim light of his office desk, but he could in no way do something, anything to occupy his mind. The darkness became a doorway for other bad memories, his Fathers death, the breaking up of his family, struggling with his sexuality and from there he started to hyperventilate,and he fell into a downward spiral of body numbing sadness, anger and almost to the stage of different waves of crying. Then he felt numb. It could be minutes, hours or days before he felt fine, if he had help getting out.

"Daddy, daddy!"

The squealing toddler ran into his home office and Marvin awoke from his triggered state scooping the child into his arms and throwing him into the air, still feeling numb on the inside.

"Jason! How was cooking with Mommy?"

The Child picked up a highlighter and stuck it up his nose curiously before replying

"we made banana carrot supwise"

Before Marvin could reply his wife bustled through the door.

"Jason, I told you, don't disturb daddy when he's working"

She scolded, pulling the highlighter out of his nose

"Trina, hon,  it's alright I like seeing my little guy", He threw a giggling Jason up into the air again, before setting him down and ruffling his hair, "now Jason, go play downstairs I need to talk to Mommy"

"Okay"

Jason toddled out of the office, swaying from side to side, putting his arms out to maintain his balance.

"Trina, I'm going to be out working late"
"This is the third time this week Marv"
"I'm working a probono case, it's a lot more work, i have less resources..."
"When's this going to stop Marvin?"
"I'm not sure"

Trina stormed out of the room and Marvin felt a slight twinge of guilt for lying to her. Not because he was lying, but because Whizzer called him a monster whenever he would cheat on her and not feel guilty.

He proceeded to get out a briefcase, put in exactly two hundred dollars and seven files and quickly closed it, padlocking it shut and hiding the key in his suit pocket. He got up and went downstairs, kissing Jason on the forehead and squeezing him tightly, before kissing Trina's cheek and heading out of their more than modest sized house. He got into his Porsche and drove downtown. Marvin had done the drive so many times that he turned into autopilot mode, and ended up arriving at the bar without even realising he was driving.

"Marvin, how long has it been man?"
"Dr Charlotte and her wife Mrs Cordelia, wow how times have changed!" Marvin exclaimed to the pair as they sat next to him at the bar.

"How's the wife?" Cordelia asked.
"Still a bitch but we had a kid"

Marvin sighed as he called her that, knowing how much whizzer loved her, but quickly snapped out of it, and got out his phone, starting to show the happy couple lots of photos and videos of his son.

"Looks just like you!" Exclaimed Cordelia," but the way he acts reminds me so much of..."

"Whizzer, I know. Odd right" he said.

"How are you doing now a days?" Enquired Charlotte

"Charlotte, it's been years." Marvin replied, slightly condescending in his tone.

"And? How are you doing?" Charlotte asked again, this time a lot firmer than before.

Marvin took a sip of his whisky before replying
"I'm seeing a psychiatrist, you remember Mendel? Well he says I have chronic anxiety and 'PTSD'" he drew bunny ears around it.
"Have you been to his Grave?" Cordelia asked
" I used to go every week, I haven't been for a long while now" He laughed bitterly at his own statement.

The silence took over for a minute as they all came to terms with the sadness of Marvin's words, but also life's natural processes.

"Well, what are you doing at a gay bar Marv, you're a married straight man?"  Cordelia asked

"You guys know that's not true. I'm gay, took me twenty nine years, but here I am!" Marvin proudly exclaimed holding up his whisky in a sort of toast

"Are you going to tell Trina?" Charlotte responded

"Fuck no, the bitch would kill me if she found out! I always told her I was bi and more into Women" Marvin laughed, taking another swig from his glass

"What are you doing here then?"

Marvin shot Charlotte side eyes

"You know what I'm doing here"
"You're such a stereotypical white male lawyer, well except the gay part"

The lesbians laughed before giving him a hug goodbye and their phone numbers, telling him to stay in contact and to stay safe. He bid them farewell before turning on his bar stool to see an attractive guy at the other side of the room, standing awkwardly. Memories flooded back to when he was the awkward one, the first time he met Whizzer,  but he quickly shook off the feeling, getting up and talking to this seemingly innocent man.

Two hours later he flopped down in the bed of the apartment he bought In secret in the city, the man from the bar entangled around him after aggressive, rough sex. He got up and left almost instantly after the man fell asleep, driving home to his tethered lifestyle that would one day lead him to put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger.

No matter how hard you push or try, no matter how hard you work for it or want it... some stories just don't have a happy ending - Jodi Picoult

Hey so this is the end. I've already written the first chapter of my second book, it's called "I'll let you win" and it's a marvel AU (about falsettos)

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