Trying to Find a Way

Chapter two

I watch him as he thinks of the memory. After a while I loose hope. I look into his eyes. He is dazing off into space. I wait patiently.

"I'm sorry." He says with a sad expression.

"It's okay." I croak. "Let's go for the walk we said that we were going to go on." I add.

He only nods. We start to walk. All I can think about is how Troy doesn't remember anything of me. There is a hole right where the memories are but they are trapped in a box.

We finally make it to a park. This is where we got Rebel.

"Does this place look familiar?" I ask.

He looks around.

"No." He mumbles.

"It's okay." I say with a fake smile.

I touch his hand for comfort. The fire works explode in my hand. I've missed them for so long.

"Let's go home. I have to go to the doctors soon." Troy explain.

"Okay." I reply.

We walk back in silence. Once we get to our houses, Troy rushes inside. I slowly walk into my house. I seem to be in a daze. I hadn't realized that I got into the bathroom with a razor. How did it get here?

I look up my wrist to see fresh cuts. How?

How did I do this? I start to cry. My hands cut up my other arm. The pain is a release to all the pain of Troy. I drop the razor and start to shake.

I miss him so much. Why did I cut myself? I promised myself I wouldn't but here I am with cuts on both wrist.

I quickly get a rag and wash the rag. I can't let my mom see these. After I wash them I go into my room and put a loose long sleeve shirt on.

I go under my sheets on my bed a stare at the wall while tears pull out of my eyes.

"Are you alright?" My mom asks and walks in with food.

I sit up and brush the tears away.

"Yeah--I'm fine." I simply reply.

She brings over the food to me.

"I'm sorry honey. It's hard but believe me that he'll get better." She said and pulled my pony tail out.

"Why don't you get some sleep." She suggested.

I simply nod. I couldn't talk again. I lay down and fall into a dreamless sleep.

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I wake up to my alarm.

It Monday.

I lazily get up. I promised my mom I would go to school. I go into the warm shower. I carefully wash my body, afraid that the cuts will burn. I get out of the shower and put baggy sweatpants and sweatshirt on. I blow dry my hair and tie it up into a messy bun.

I don't bother to do make-up. I brush my teeth and head down stairs.

"I'm glad you are going to school." My mom said.

I nod and walk out the door without saying goodbye. I walk to school with my head down. I have a feeling I'm going to get bullied today. Troy used to protect me, now that he isn't here, I'm prey.

I walk into school not lifting my head. I can feel all eyes on me. I hear whispers.

"Look it's the depressed girl...."

"I can't believe she hasn't died yet..."

"She so fat...ugly....worthless.." People whisper.

Tears start to form in my eyes. I wish I had a razor now. I walk to my locker and grab my books that I need. I walk to my first class.