Trying to Find a Way

Chapter four

We celebrated Troy's birthday while he was 'sick'. His mom got him a car. For my birthday I didn't celebrate it. I couldn't. All I wanted was for Troy to remember.

We walk to Troy's car. It is a grey truck. We hop in and Troy starts the engine. I hear the rumble of the engine starting.

Troy pulls out of his driveway and drives away.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"It's a surprise." Troy says with a smirk.

He takes my hand in his. Sparks fly in my hand and up my arm.

"I'm so so so glad you remember everything." I say to him.

"Me too." He said and looks off the road at me.

"Eyes on the road mister!" I yell.

He instantly looks back onto the road. I smile.

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We've been in the car for an hour.

"Troy where are we going?" I whine.

"It's a surprise! Just a little bit more." He said.

I sink down in my seat. It's pitch black out. I can't see what's in front of the car. We can only see what the car light provide us.

Finally I see Troy steer beside this fancy restaurant. He parks in a parking stop. He didn't really have a choice of where to park. This place is packed.

We walk up to the door where someone opens the door for us. We say thank you to the kind lady. I'm guessing that is her job. I would hate to have that job.

We walk up to the hostess. The young man smiles at me. Troy holds my hand and squeezes it.

"Do you have any reservations?" The young man asked.

He has brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Yes. It's under Troy." Troy explained.

The man looked down the list.

"Here you are. Right this way." The man said.

He started to walk and we followed.

"Our specials are crab, steak, and salmon." He explained.

He lead us to a table for two. That sounds so cheesy!

"Have a great meal." The man said and winked at me.

Hopefully Troy didn't see that. I look up at him as we sat down. Obviously he did.

"Troy, I have no interest in him." I reassure him.

I put my hand on his. He seemed more relaxed. We look at our menu's as we wait for waitress or waiter. My eyes wonder around the menu and look at the different foods. I decide to get the salmon.

"Hi my name is Amy, I'll be serving you two tonight. Can I start you off with some drinks?" She asked.

"I'll have water." I say politely.

"I'll have coke." Troy said.

She walks away to get our drinks.

"What are you getting?" Troy asked me.

His eyes are on the menu.

"I'm getting the salmon." I reply. "What are you getting?"

"I'm getting the chicken." He replied to me.

Amy brings our drinks back to us.

"Have you two decide what you want?" She questioned.

"Yes. I'll have the chicken and she'll have the salmon." Troy said for me.

I didn't mind that he did that.

"Okay! I'll be back once your dinner is ready." She said with a smile.

We both take a sip of our drinks. I look at Troy. I still can't believe that he got his memory back.

"How was it like to loose you everything that you known?" I ask. I want to know how it felt not to know who people are and memories that people say and you have no idea what they are talking about.

"When I woke up in the hospital and you engulfed me in a hug, I was confused. I didn't know who was hugging me. I asked you who you were, I saw sadness in your eyes. I felt so bad not knowing who you were. There was like a wall that I couldn't break. I would look out my window and see you crying. I didn't know why but I wanted to help. You never moved from one spot. I would try and try. I would stay up nights trying to realize what had happened. Two months of nothing but blankness. Finally after days and days, I remembered everything. I wanted to go tell you but I wanted to have a plan to surprise you. I was going to tell you when we went to dinner and I was going to ask you when you got home, but Cece ruined it. I'm so glad I finally remembered." Troy explained.

Everything makes sense now. Troy gently touches my cuts. Because they are fresh I flinch. A sad expression goes through Troy's face.

"It's okay." I try to say.

"It's not. I could've stopped you." He whispers.

"You couldn't. It just makes me feel better. I know it won't make it better and I promise myself I won't ever do it again." I say.

Troy is about to say something but our food comes.

"Here is the salmon and chicken. Anything you two need?" She asked.

"No but thank you." Troy simply anwsers.

We eat in silence. My salmon is so good. How can they make it this good? Wow.

"I'm not going to let yourself cut ever again." Troy says truthfully.

I look up at him. My heart races knowing that he'll help me.

"You will?" I ask.

"Yes." He replies.

I nod. After we finish, Troy pays even though I try to tell him I can. We walk back to the car and drive home. We go into my room.

"Get the razor you cut with." Troy said and sits on my bed.

I don't know why he wants it but I grab it from the bathroom. I walk back into the bedroom.

"Cut me." He said.

I stare at him.

"No." I reply.

"Why?" He asked.

"I can't do that to you and I care to much about you." I answer. Why is he doing this?

He motions me to come sit by him. I do.

"Do you care about yourself?" He whispers in my ear.

"I don't know." I say breathless.

He grabs the razor.

"Carolina, you don't cut me because you care about me. If you care about yourself, then why do you cut?" He questioned.

"I don't know." I answer.

"I love you. I hate to see you in pain." Troy says quietly.

"I love you too." I reply.

He moves closer to me. I kiss him.

I love him. I never want to loose him again.

I hope all of you had a happy New Year! Please tell your friends to read my book! Thank you so much!

Love,

Sophie