Trying to Find a Way

Chapter twenty-one

I cuddle closer to Troy, not wanting to ever let go.

His arm is around my waist, while my head is on his chest.

I feel Troy's breath on the top of my head.

I wish we could stay like this forever, sadly we can't.

"Good morning, beautiful." He whispers.

"Good morning to you too." I return.

"Can we stay like this all day?" Troy asked.

"We can only dream." I whisper to him.

Closing my eyes again, I imagine staying in this position forever.

"You need to talk to Bea." Troy barely whispers.

My body goes stiff.

Shooting right up, I look at him in fear, horror.

"Why?" I quickly ask.

My heart beats a thousands beats a minute.

My vision is now getting blurry.

"Why do you want me to talk to someone who wants me dead, who hates me with a passion?" My voice breaks at the end.

Why does he want my to talk to her?

Does he even care?

I hear him sigh deeply.

"Look Carolina. I know what you're thinking but she wants to talk to you." He says to me.

I'm shaking my head; my body is shaking.

I pull my hand up to my eyes, trying to not let tears fall.

It's to late.

Hot tear fall onto my cheeks.

Troy's gentle touch is on my chin. He gently tilts my head up; my hands still on my face.

"Take your hands off of your face." He demands.

I slowly take my hands off of my eyes, but keeping them closed.

"Open your eyes, love." He whispers.

Opening my eyes, Troy looks at me with an expression I can't read.

"I'm not saying you have to become best friends with her or think of her as a sister.  What I'm saying is talk to her.  If you don't like what she has to say, then leave.  You don't ever have to talk to her again." Troy explained to me.

I think about this.

Either way, I would and will never forgive her for what she has done.  I promise that with my heart.

I nod.

She can say whatever she wants, make up excuses, but I'm not becoming her friend.

"Good.  I'll be beside you the whole time and if you want to leave, leave." He says.

I nod once again.

We walk down the stairs with are hands laced together. 

The lights are off downstairs.  I guess no one is up.

Troy and I go into the kitchen.

"My stomach is going to eat itself if it doesn't get any food." Troy complains.

I start to laugh at him and his words.

He points at me.

"Hey!  It's true!" He says defending himself.

That made me laugh harder.

He makes a face at me and goes to the fridge.  Troy grabs milk, yogurt, strawberries, and a banana from the top of the fridge.

He starts to cut up the banana.

"What are you making?" I ask.

He looks up at me.

"I'm making a smoothie.  Something you can't do." He says with a smirk.

Oh he did not just say that.

"I can too make a smoothie!  You distracted me because I made you breakfast." I say to him.

He grins at me.

+++++++++++++++

"What do you think?" He asked as I take a sip of the smoothie he made.

It's the best smoothie I've ever made.

"It's amazing!" I say to him.

He smiles wide.

I return the smile.

Troy can make me smile at anything.  He makes me smile at the worst times and I haven't thanked him enough for what he has done.

He even bought me a dress!  Like who else would care enough to buy me things that I've never had in my entire life.

I'm about to say something, but something comes into the kitchen.

Call me a bitch but that something is my sister.

Bea walks into the kitchen like she owns the place.

Note to Bea, mom owns the house, she pays the bills.

My eyes don't trail off of her.  I watch her every movement; afraid that she'll attack me.

I squeeze Troy's hand as tight has I could possibly do.

"Ask her about the talking. Your mom told me to tell you to bring it up." He whispers.

My heart races again, but this time I think it's going to pop out of my chest.

"Um Bea?  Troy says you wanted to talk to me." I say with a shaky voice.

She looks up at me with a wide eyes.  Her eyes move back and forth through me and Troy.

She coughs.

"Um yeah.  Can we go into the living room?" She asked quietly.

That voice makes me want to curl up in a ball.

With robotic movements, I go into the living room.

I sit down on the couch beside Troy; Bea on the other couch.

"Carolina, I'm sorry for everything I've ever done.  I wasn't right in the mind.  I was mess up.  Father always told me what to do when I was little.  You could say I was his little girl.  He got me hung up on being such a bitch to you.  I was jealous," She says. "You were so pretty and you were so smart.  I hated that about you.  I let the anger build up inside of me."

I'm frozen in place

"I released the pain to you.  I wanted to see you suffer for the horrible reasons.  I'm so so so very sorry Carolina.  I know you must hate me, I understand.  You probable don't want to even talk to me," She's sobbing now.  "I deserve all the crap I pulled with you.  You don't even have to forgive me but you do deserve the best apologe you can ever get."

I'm

shock

to

the

bone.

And I'm running again.