Trying to Find a Way

Chapter eight

Why don't you die already?.....

I sob into Troy's chest. He is furious.

Cece commented that. Apparently Troy has her number so he is calling her.

"When I hear her voice, I'm going to..." He trailed off as the ringing started.

He has one arm around me, trying to comfort me in some way possible. Nothing will help this situation.

Hopelessness fills inside of my heart. Why are people so cruel?

"Cece?" Troy asked in an angry voice.

I haven't heard that voice since the day his dad tried to break us up.

"Yes?" She asked innocently.

"You should be sick of yourself, everyone is. You can't just go around and say 'hey you should die'. It's not right. You are a sick, sick, sick person. You don't deserve anybody in your life. Mess with my girlfriend, you mess with me." Troy screamed into the phone.

He hung up after that. He did wait for her to reply. Troy lets out a big, long sigh.

"I'm so sorry, Carolina. I shouldn't of asked you to make an account." Troy said.

I look up to him. I peck his lips.

"It's not your--fault." I pause. "It's Cece's. She said the comment." I say.

Thinking about it makes me what to just disappear for awhile. I want to see if anyone would miss me, my absents.

Troy holds me in a tight hug. He picks up my broken, broken heart that has shatter beyond repair. Troy somehow glues it, fixes it. How? How does he make me feel so special?

"It's going to be okay. I'm going to barrel into the school and change my schedule to be the same as yours. I'm right when I say that Cece is in all of your classes?" He asked.

I only nod. I've forgotten how to speak.

"Get some sleep. You need it. I won't leave you." Troy said quietly.

I try to sleep. The key word is try. Once I would be asleep, nightmares of Cece came, me dying, seeing Troy with Cece. I jerk awake instantly. I couldn't live in that world. I wouldn't, I couldn't.

Finally the sun starts to come. I stare at the beautiful sight. The different colors colliding together.

I hadn't realized Troy was awake.

"How long have you been up?" Troy whispers into my heart.

"Barely two hours." I mumble.

"Why?" Troy asked concerned.

"Nightmares." I barely manage to get out.

A lump in my throat forms. I look away from the sun rise, not wanting to put a bad memory on it. So many bad memories.....

"You should've woke me." Troy said as he rubbed his gorgeous eyes.

"I wanted you to sleep. You needed it." I say and touch his cheek gently.

Truthfully, I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to wake him because I wanted to just think.

My eyes wonder to the clock. My eyes have been so curious to the clock. Seeing the time is very interesting.

It's six. We have to get ready for school.

Troy must have read my mind because he slips from under me and heads to the window.

"I'll be right back. I'm getting some new clothes. You change too." He commanded.

With that he is gone.

I numbly walk to closet not caring to what I'll be wearing today. I decide sweatpants will be a good suit for me. I change from my pjs and into my soft sweatpants. I keep Troy's sweatshirt on, not caring that I wore it to bed.

I head to my bathroom to where I meet the razor. It mocks me, saying that I should cut, I need to cut. I try to shake the thought out of my head.

With shaky hands, I manage to brush my teeth and comb my hair out. I leave my hair down. It is in soft waves.

I walk back into my room and look at Troy. His face expression is not explainable. It's like he's thinking, fighting back to say something.

"Are you alright?" I ask him as I sit beside him on the bed.

"Yes. I have a question." He said and looked at the ground.

"Okay." I reply.

He looks up to me. His eyes, oh his eyes are perfection.

"Let me see you wrist. Well that's not really a question but--can I see them?" He asked me.

I look in his eyes and see guilt, sadness. He is worried about me.

My hands start to shake. I don't know why, they've been doing that lately.

He gently rolls up my sleeves and looks at my wrist. My freshly cuts that I did are now healing. I hear Troy sigh in relief. Was he thinking that I cut them while I was in the bathroom?

"Why did you want to see?" I ask quietly.

Troy takes a deep breath in.

"I wanted to make sure that you didn't do anything while you were in the bathroom." Troy mumbles.

I only nod.

We walk downstairs. Troy is taking us to school. I only grab water.

"Aren't you hungry?" He asked.

I shake my head no.

"Okay." He said.

With that, we left for school.

We walk over to the school doors. I keep my head down, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Troy laces his hand with mine. He leans down to my ear.

"It's okay. Will you come with me to change my classes?" Troy asked.

I nod.

"You--you don't--have--have do this." I say to him.

"I want to. Besides, my classes are getting to easy for me. I need a challenge." Troy simply says.

We head to the office.

"Hi. I'm Troy Windle. I wanted to know if I could change my schedule to this one?" Troy asked and handed my schedule to the lady.

"We don't do favors Mr. Windle." The lady replied.

"I'm not asking for a favor. My classes have got too easy for me. I would like more of a challenge. You can even call my teachers." He tried to convince the lady.

The lady wanted to make sure that he was telling the truth. She called all of his teachers and they agreed that he needed more of a challenge. She wrote out the schedule for him and called my teacher to inform them that they will have a new student.

We left the office to go to our lockers. We both head to our class. Once we walk in, I sit down and wait for the teacher to assign Troy a seat. I'm the only person without a partner, no one ever wants to be my partner.

The teacher and Troy talk, rather whisper to each other. I wonder what they are talking about. After awhile, Troy comes over to me and sits beside me.

"Well look who it is." She said.

To think that I could have a good day...

Authors comments.

Okay so I really am getting into this book! Due to that I was thinking about maybe having a contest. To me my title cover is a bit boring. Maybe if someone would like to make a new one for me? It could be an edit, or collage, etc. Whatever you guys would like If you could dm me it on Instagram for me that would be amazing! Please comment if this is a good idea!

love,
Sophie