kirai┇izone ff ✅

0022

❆ 0022 // MAKE

// KIMCHAEWON's

I immediately went back to our dorm, di ko pinansin ang roommate ko at dumiretso ako sa cr. I don't really know why am I so pissed.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko na may mga pasa at dugo pa, I opened the faucet and washed my hands.

I looked at myself at the mirror, why did you do that Kim Chaewon. You hurt your 2 friends today mentally and physically, I lost my control.

I suddenly remembered my father and mother earlier kaya nawala ako sa control, I don't even know why. It's just my trauma made me do that, pero dapat kinontrol ko.

I hope Hiichan and Nako will be fine. As for Minjoo, I didn't mean to say that masyado lang siguro ako naging preoccupied kanina kaya nasabi ko yun.

Napayuko at napahilamos sa mukha ko, Eunbi eonnie is disappointed at me sinabi nya yun mismo kanina saakin.

'I'm so disappointed Chaewon' That simple words made me feel like wala na akong ginawang tama, Eunbi eonnie is right thou. Ever since I met her I always wanted to be like her, a strong, independent and responsible leader. Pero ngayon I'm not sure kung masusundan ko pa sya.

Minjoo, I've always like her. We have the same feelings for each other pero hindi ako gumagawa ng move para maging kami, we're still stuck in this 'mutual understanding' thing. Tapos kanina nasabahin ko pa sya ng ganun, what should I do? Puro sakit lang ang binibigay ko sakanya, I don't deserve someone like her.

Should I stop making her wait and set her free? Masyado akong duwag para maging in a relationship. I always think paano kung ganito, ganyan I tend to over think that's why.

I clenched my fist, wala akong karapatan magpakita sakanila pagkatapos ko gawin yun. I only have them and I'm afraid that I might loose all of them, what should I do.

Lumabas ako ng banyo at agad na ibinagsak ang sarili ko sa higaan. I'm going to say sorry to them tomorrow, sana naman hindi ako maduwag. Nakatulog ako nang hindi nagbibihis ng pangtulog.

Nagising ako sa isang kwarto na familiar, so familiar. Inilibot ko ang tingin ko, wala paring nagbago dito kahit isang pagbabago wala. I saw a knife on my bed. Tumayo ako para pulutin ito at naglakad papunta ng pinto.

When I went out I saw a very familiar house interior, I walked down until I saw familiar faces at the living room. Nagtatawanan at masayang nakikipag-usap sa isa't isa.

I went near them, ngumiti silang lahat saakin like walang nangyari kahapon. Why am I here? Bakit sila andito?

"Chaewon what's with the knife?" Yena eonnie asked me, napatingin ako sa hawak ko na kutsilyo. I don't know either, nasa kwarto ko lang 'to kanina. Inilagay ko ito sa center table.

"Bakit tayo andito? Ang alam ko matagal na 'tong nabenta" Sabi ko sakanila, they looked at me with a confused face.

"What are you talking about? Today is your mother's birthday she invited us" Sabi rin naman na Hyewon eonnie, birthday ni... mommy?

What? Our house? My mommy?

"Chaewon anak, ano pa bang ginagawa mo? Entertain my guest" Narinig ko ang boses ni Mommy, she's standing beside me. She's looking at me smiling, napaiyak nalang ako at niyakap sya.