Of the Twisted and the Lost

Chapter 17:

A soft knock on the door startles Sera and she looks up, unsure of whether or not she should open the door. 

Luckily, someone decides for her, the door swinging open. 

"Sera," says Junjie, as he lifts a plate in a greeting. "Lunch?" 

"Thanks," Sera murmurs, taking the lunch tray from him, as she regains her composure. 

Junjie offers her a slight smile. He strides into the room, sitting on the cot across from Sera's. 

"I brought lunch for me too," Junjie says, pulling out a sandwich. "We can eat together." 

Sera nods, acting nonchalant, though inside, she is beyond freaking out. 

"Lack of eye contact, a habit of looking away, running fingers through hair." Junjie nods at Sera. "You're nervous." 

"What? No!" Sera sputters. "Why would you think that?" 

Junjie takes a bite of his sandwich, gazing thoughtfully at her. "You display all the body language of nervousness," he explains, his lips tugging upwards. "Do tell, Sera. What's making you nervous?" 

You, Sera thinks. You and your observations, how you're able to see through me so quickly. 

"I'm not nervous," Sera lies. 

"You're lying," Junjie dismisses, as he looks towards the doorway. "Your eyes flickered there. You're uncomfortable." 

"Are you a therapist?" she questions. 

He looks confused at the question for a moment, before shaking his head. "God, I'd make a terrible therapist," he says seriously. 

"But you make good observations," Sera points out. 

"I observe what people can't see," he replies with a shrug. "So, Sera, apparently you tackled Sam Sato to the ground." 

"Yeah, so?" 

"Hmm, from all the years of being your classmate, you didn't strike me as the type to go for violence." 

Junjie is studying her with so much intensity, it takes almost all of Sera's energy not to look away. 

"Should I make a guess?" Junjie asks. "If you're not going to say anything?" 

Sera bites her lip, embarrassment engulfing her. 

"You're mortified, slightly scared, and—" Junjie pauses, searching her expression. "You're angry. I suppose if the human emotions were strong enough, it would propel them to make a spur, in-the-moment decision, blocking all reasonable thoughts about the consequences." 

"It wasn't human emotions or whatever you just said," Sera interrupts. "If I had a chance, I would do it again." 

"Really?" This time, Junjie sounds genuinely curious, like Sera's a puzzle he's trying to solve. "And risk getting hurt again?" 

"Well, yeah." 

"Intriguing." 

"What?" Sera stammers, glancing down at her lap, where her uneaten salad and soup lay uneaten. 

"This sandwich," Junjie says, lifting the sandwich in front of her face. "The process they used to make this thing — it's intriguing." 

"Oh," Sera replies. "Yeah." 

A pause. 

Sera's heart skips a beat as she struggles to find something to say. 

"Do you want to come over to my house?" she blurts, before wanting to smack her head against the cot. 

Oh my God, what are you saying? Sera thinks frantically. Why do you have to be so stupid around Junjie? He's just a boy! I mean, a boy you've had a crush on since the start of high school — but still a boy! 

"Like, you know," Sera says. "A dat—" 

"A studying session?" Junjie suggests, looking slightly confused. 

"Yeah, sure." Sera finds the words slipping out of her. "Math?" 

Math is Sera's favorite subject and she chose that for purposely one thing: because she doesn't want to look like a stupid person in front of Junjie — not that Sera hasn't already made a fool of herself. 

"You need help with math?" Junjie asks, his lashes lowering in uncertainty. "I thought you were good at that." 

Sera is stuck. God, even after all those years of not being friends, he still remembers? 

"My mom does my homework for me!" she blurts. "So that's why I get super high grades in math." 

Junjie nods slowly, though doubt still clouds his blue eyes. 

"Alright," he says. "Your house?" 

Sera flushes. 

I don't particularly want to go to my house, Sera thinks. Because a) you might see my stepmother, who's probably going to ask a bunch of questions and b) you might see all the pictures I have of you. 

"Let's go to yours!" she says brightly. "My house is overrun with all kinds of ants right now. You know, icky creatures." 

Junjie looks like he doesn't believe her. 

"I guess we can go to mine," he says. "Though I have to warn you, it's a bit messy." 

"Oh, it's fine," Sera says dismissively. "I'm fine with messy." 

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! An alarm shrieks through her head. Stop sound so stupid!

"There also might be bones," Junjie continues, lowering his head in a slight apology. 

"Bones?" Sera echoes. 

"A mix of collagen and calcium, yes." Junjie glances out at the distance. "As in, bones that you have in your body right this moment." 

Heat rushes into Sera's cheeks. 

"I know what a bone is," she snaps. 

"Good," Junjie says distractedly. "If you didn't, I would be slightly worried." 

Sera purses her lips. 

"So," she says. "What are you looking at?" 

She twists around, turning to frown in the direction Junjie's gazing off at. 

"Nothing. Sorry." Junjie attempts at a feeble smile. "I tend to get distracted easily, just warning you." 

Sera nods. 

"So—" 

Before she can say anything, Junjie stands up. "Sorry to cut this conversation short," interrupts Junjie. "But I have to go." 

"But we're still going to do the date — I mean, study session — right?" Sera stammers. 

Junjie frowns. "What study session?" he asks, before shaking his head. "Never mind. See you later, Sera." 

She watches as he strides out of the room, the door swinging shut behind Junjie. 

He doesn't reply or even apologize. 

"Damn it," Sera hisses. "I ruined everything like usual! What the hell was I thinking? Ants? Seriously?" 

Sera tries to shove down the tears, feeling the burn grip at her throat. 

Then the door opens. Sera's head jerks up, as she looks upwards with hope. 

"Forgot my sandwich," Junjie says, grabbing the wrapper. 

"Wait, are we still doing the study session thing?" Sera asks. 

"You know my address," he replies back, clearly sidetracked.