Of the Twisted and the Lost

Chapter 34:

If there's one person that currently hates Junjie more than himself, it would be Cami Wilson, who blames Sera's disappearance on Junjie. 

The moment Cami learned about Sera's disappearance, she whirled towards Junjie and stabbed a finger in his direction. 

"This is you!" she hissed, green eyes filled with fury. "This is all you!" 

"What?" Junjie stammered as he lifted his head from his hands. "How is this my fault?" 

"How is this your fault?" Cami lets out a bitter and disbelieving laugh. "My God, everything's your fault. I told Sera not to go to the harbor, yet she had to go! Why? Oh, because it's Junjie, my crush who's never paid attention to me until now! And when she does go to the harbor for whatever stupid date you planned, she goes missing!" 

"I—" 

"Don't bother defending yourself." Cami stood up, lifting her chin. "Sam told me everything." 

Sam, Junjie thought resentfully. I should've known he would tell everyone. . . 

"And you know what I think?" Cami glared, her emerald-green eyes filling with tears. "This is all your fault. Not Sam's. Not Sera's. Yours. Own up to it, you bastard." 

With that, Cami sauntered out of the police office, her high heels clicking against the floor, each click a reminder: your fault. . . 

You'd think it is a terrible idea to visit the one person who blames you for Sera's disappearance, but still, Junjie does his regular routine of walking near Sera's neighborhood before knocking on Cami's door. 

The door slits open, as an eye peeks out at him. 

"Oh," Cami grumbles, crossing her arms. "It's you." 

"You can't avoid me forever, Cami. I am sorry and I told you a million times how—" 

"'I'm sorry' doesn't fix anything," she mocks, before scoffing. "Look. I know you're used to having everything bend at your will or whatever, but saying sorry doesn't stop the fact that Sera's been gone for half a year." 

"I'll find her," Junjie says, pleading. "I just need anything — evidence, leads, a final note that told you she was leaving. . ." 

"And I already told you," Cami fires back. "Sera. Didn't. Leave. Anything." 

The answer is always the same. 

"Alright." Junjie looks away, defeated. "I guess I'll just go." 

Cami gives him a tight smile. "I think you should," Cami replies. 

Junjie turns to leave, but before he can, Cami grabs his hand. "Don't give up on her," she whispers, squeezing his hand. 

He nods once, before striding away. 

There is a schedule Junjie goes by: work. Find evidence. Fail miserably. 

And then the routine cycles all over again, around and around like a carousel. 

Junjie sighs in obvious frustration as he hurriedly walks towards the sandy path, leading towards the harbor. He scans the area, taking in the glittering blue of the ocean and the soft glint of the sifting sand. 

Nothing new. Nothing out of the ordinary. No evidence. 

"Damn it," Junjie curses, scowling at the brooding curtain of clouds. "Come on, Sera, where the hell are you?" 

As usual, there's silence. Stifling and suffocating silence that makes Junjie want to fall on his knees, to just give up already like everyone else. 

Every single day since Sera has gone missing, Junjie made wishes. 

Wishes for a miracle. Wishes for Sera. Wishes for her to come back. 

Wishes the color of gold fairy dust, delicate and intricate, strong enough to give Junjie a clue of where Sera could've gone. 

But of course, none of the wishes ever came true. 

I shouldn't have expected wishes to come true, Junjie scoffs. After all, they're wishes. Just small parts of fairy tales that give children hope they shouldn't have. 

Junjie scowls out at the calm scenery, before exhaling. "Alright," he mutters. "Time to find evidence that doesn't even exist." 

And so, Junjie continues his search to find a piece of Sera that she might've left behind. A scarf, a note, anything at all. 

He searches until the sun melts away, until the horizon is nothing but a creamy blur of pink and purple. He searches until the curtain of night and silver stars come pummeling down, until the snow seeps into his shoes. 

He searches until he feels like he's going dizzy, his back aching and sore. He searches until tears are threatening to escape, until he feels his hope shrivel up once again. 

Anything, he pleads. Just give me a sign, Sera. 

There's nothing, of course. Because in six months, things change and move, evidence shredding up and disintegrating. 

He searches until his hands feel like ice, too frozen to move anymore, yet he continues to push himself. 

Come on! Junjie grits his teeth, digging through a pile of clumpy ice and snow. Please. Something. Anything. 

Defeat sags through Junjie's body and he finally stands up as he has done for the past one hundred and eighty-two days, disappointment sagging through him. 

I'm sorry, Sera. 

Then— 

Why can't I find you? 

Junjie finds everything. Whether it's lost car keys or tickets to a famous concert or finding out who murdered who, he always manages to find it. 

So why can't he find Sera? 

It's a question that haunts him all night, threatening to shove him over the edge. 

"Why, indeed," Junjie murmurs as he gathers his items into his bag. 

"She's gone, man." 

"You should just give up." 

"No use talking to dead people, am I right?" 

"Look, Junjie. Sera's been gone for six months. I'm sorry." 

"It's all your fault, you freaking idiot! If you hadn't brought her out there, if you hadn't betrayed her like that, maybe she would still be here!" 

"It looks bad. Maybe we should just accept that she might never come back." 

"Shut up!" Junjie snaps out loud. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" 

He whirls around, storming out of the harbor. 

Another day down. One hundred and eighty-two days without Sera.