𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄|✔︎

☽ 𝟳 : 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 ☾

☯︎︎

8:38 pm

"Why is everything so fucking complicated all over again?" I questioned myself in my less illuminated room with the weirdest voice I could muster while pouting, still all alone in bed while rubbing my eyes, happily securing a spooned Mittens from the under space of the bed and into the blankets again to tuck her in for the second time.

After Berry had left about two hours ago, my mind was a messed up spaghetti bowl than ever before, and I wanted to sue literally everyone existing so that I can take the money and stuff my mouth with ice cream with the amount of goodies I'm going to buy with it.

Too much information was there to handle, too many things to look out needed to be registered, there was a lot in my life to handle, I was too much to handle, the world was too much to handle, and most of all, he fucking was too much to handle.

I know Berry told me to not be scared of anything since that's exactly what Illusion would want me to do, but the thought of Zalius dying because of me...umm...again, was eccentrically and emotionally unbearable for some reason. It was like a ticking bomb inside me that would blast any second with anyone getting harmed because of me, and it degraded my mood immensely.

I did not know him, I did not know how he looked like, I don't know how he is as a person, and I have no idea on what he thinks about me either. Not knowing a single detail about this man, and here I am, deciphering how much of a liability I could be to him by the mere accident of dicking myself over.

No wonder Gaia and Berry were right about my connection with him to be way different and more binding than other supernatural creatures. This stupid mate bond was not even starting soon enough because of him not being here physically, and I was already starting to feel shit that I've never felt before. I haven't encountered his implanted energy in me since I've seen it in school, and frankly, I was terrified about everything, because not only was he indirectly protecting me while being countries away, it was like now my body was craving more of his energy due to sudden wants of desiring to be near him.

Having to live with the fact that someone's death is fated to happen when you die is a huge pressuring factor that I couldn't possibly gain courage for in order for it to be digested in my mind. And it's even worse when it's not just an ordinary person's death you have to be worried about, it's the first ever man to be the most powerful male in the whole globe, who can basically almost annihilate a country in mere seconds.

He's not having any way of dying on earth. He can probably survive five earthquakes in a row along with two tsunamis with absolutely no effort. But he shouldn't die because of me.

Along with that, no no no, what do you get when you are having to acknowledge the fact that you are Mother Earth? You don't get a description of what exactly you have to do as an apparent spiritual person, you instead have to think about death that can lead to the vanquishing of Illusion's greatest rival and the best person who is all about fairness.

Aye! You're Gaia now, save earth with papa please.

You die? Splat, Uranus is a hallucination now.

Poof.

In fact, no one should die because of me, not him, not any supernatural creature, heck, not even a disgusting bug. Not only that, even supernatural creatures are having to go through bullshit in order to save my ass.

I wouldn't be surprised if I was still being followed by a hiding vampire who was lurking in the corner of the building right now. And just to bring myself some peace, I've been trying to practise small things with myself in my room while making sure no one interrupts me after barging in unnoticed.