stuck [choi yeonjun]

38

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Yeonjun's (demon side) POV:

Whenever, where-ever and whatever I do, her face keeps flashing on my mind and an unfamiliar sensation which I never experienced before spreads in my whole body erratically. At first I used to think it's because of my sex hormones that she keeps influencing simply by breathing. However, it feels more than that now but I don't know what it is and I hate it. I hate how she distracts me from my motives. I hate how Yeonjun cares for her and how she cares for Yeonjun because I'm Yeonjun after all. She has made my mind so complicated and puzzled and I hate how she challenges me.

I hate how I hate her when she doesn't hate me. I hate how she looks at me as if...As if I'm admirable. Doesn't she know that I am just a...just a monster. I have already committed too much sins and there's no way looking back and I hate how she never understands it.

If I hate so many specifications about her then why wasn't I able to finish her? I couldn't kill her. For the first time, I wish it was because of Yeonjun inside me stopping me to kill her.

I wish it was like that because it is not.

I killed many people before too and Yeonjun wasn't able to protect them. Given that, I killed his first girl and he was just helpless but when it's Sora even I feel helpless. I never felt so and I totally hate this soft corner I've made for her unintentionally. When did I even? Is it when she told me that I needed someone to understand me? The way she said that as if she was ready to be that someone...

Have I not hurt her enough? No sane person would be willing to understand me and actually, no one can understand me. When I saw her at first, I didn't feel anything. She was just an ordinary human living her ordinary life and it was just my urge to play her.
When I saw her, I liked the idea of destroying her little messy world. Nothing more, nothing less.

But when she said that I needed love too, my heart skipped a beat for the first time in my life. And it scared me because I shouldn't have felt that. It scared me so much that my fingers wrapped around her neck themselves, considering her as a threat and even that time, she was just smiling so menacingly as to tease me. Who the hell is she?

Holy Satan! Why the Jesus am I thinking so much about her.

I stare at her pale flawless skin which is too red clearly proving that she was struggling hard to breath before blacking out. I hate how her every feature is so attractive even her nose bridge that is tight and thin, her small face and small chin, eyebrows, sharp jawline, soft lips, double eyelids, warm eyes, her body, her soft straight long and brown hair and just everything. I want my eyes to meet her pair of warm eyes again but she's not opening those. Marks of my fingers are visible on the skin of her beautiful neck too darkly. Did I really strangle her too horribly? It's been an hour and she's still not getting her consciousness back and this doctor is still analyzing her condition. I place a soft pillow in place of my pillow so that her head can be rested peacefully.